At the CPAC conference today, Mitt Romney mercifully brought his campaign of gymnastic flip-flops to an end. Yielding to the inevitability of John McCain's nomination, Romney shuffled off into the Republican sunset.
But before exiting the stage (no doubt to return in 2012), Romney regurgitated the bromides, mean-spirited attacks and downright ignorance that characterized his failed campaign. Romney again excluded many from his American community, claiming "Americans love God, and those who don't have faith, typically believe in something greater than themselves - a "Purpose Driven Life." He continued bashing a Europe "that is the inevitable product of weakened faith in the Creator, failed families, disrespect for the sanctity of human life and eroded morality." Romney also returned to his conflation of all Muslims worldwide into a single, unified terrorist threat with a shared "conviction that all governments should be destroyed and replaced by a religious caliphate." (In typical fashion, Mitt got his hate on, lamenting that he would have no role in "executing Osama bin Laden.") And, of course, Romney claimed his exit from the race was motivated by desire not to abet Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in their common quest "aiding a surrender to terror."
As Mitt Romney disappears from the scene, it is worth looking back on the words of this flip-flop artist, rooftop canine waterboarding enthusiast, Reagan foe turned Reagan wannabe and would-be second MBA President. As a quick glance reveals, Mitt Romney will be remembered as the Zelig of Campaign '08, a human chameleon whose positions morphed with changing audience, the ZIP code and political requirements of the day.
Here, then, are Mitt Romney's Greatest Hits:
"Well, I'm not concerned about the voters."
Mitt Romney, asked to tell Florida voters how much of his own fortune he had spent on his campaign there, January 24, 2008.
"We also love a president who has kept us safe these last six years."
Mitt Romney, January 3, 2008.
"He voted against the Bush tax cuts. That's failing 'Reagan-101.'"
Mitt Romney, attacking John McCain, December 22, 2007.
"My life experience convinced me that Ronald Reagan was right."
Mitt Romney, January 8, 2007.
"I was an independent during the time of Reagan-Bush; I'm not trying to return to Reagan-Bush."
Mitt Romney, during run for U.S. Senate, 1994.
"People were saying, 'It was like George Washington,' 'It was the Gettysburg Address.'"
Ann Romney, on her husband's speech on Faith in America, December 6, 2007.
"I think some people see Guantanamo as a source of America's arrogance, and I see it as a source of America's resolve."
Mitt Romney, June 5, 2007.
"My view is, we ought to double Guantanamo."
Mitt Romney, May 15, 2007.
"This university, its students, its alumni and the faculty serve as an example of Dr. Robertson's dedication to strengthening and then nurturing the pillars of this community and our country: education, fellowship, and advancement."
Mitt Romney, speech at Pat Robertson's Regent University, May 5, 2007.
"When it comes to spiritual matters, the Mormons are far from the truth."
From a page on Pat Robertson's CBN web site titled "How Do I Recognize a Cult," 2007.
"In France, for instance, I'm told that marriage is now frequently contracted in seven-year terms where either party may move on when their term is up. How shallow and how different from the Europe of the past."
Mitt Romney, May 5, 2007.
"He's going to pay, and he will die."
Mitt Romney, on Osama Bin Laden, May 3, 2007.
"It's not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person."
Mitt Romney, on Osama Bin Laden, April 26, 2007.
"It's possible. It's entirely possible."
Mitt Romney, on whether Iraq WMD's had been moved to Syria, May 7, 2007.
"Well, it's a setting that's almost a null set. Which is, if we knew that Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction, and if he had complied with the United Nations resolutions to allow IAEA inspectors into his country, we wouldn't be having this conversation."
Mitt Romney, asked by Sean Hannity if he would have supported war in Iraq knowing what he knows now, May 8, 2007.
"Well, the question is kind of a non sequitur, if you will. And what I mean by that -- or a null set -- and that is that if you're saying, let's turn back the clock and Saddam Hussein had opened up his country to IAEA inspectors and they'd come in and they'd found that there were no weapons of mass destruction...we wouldn't be in the conflict we're in."
Mitt Romney, asked by Wolf Blitzer if he would have supported war in Iraq knowing what he knows now, June 5, 2007.
"I'm not in favor of his religion by any means. But he wrote a book called 'Battlefield Earth' that was a very fun science-fiction book."
Mitt Romney, naming Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's book as his favorite novel, April 30, 2007.
"Every issue that we're talking about in this race that's of a domestic nature, I dealt with as the governor of Massachusetts. And so on the issue of abortion, for instance, I came down on the side of life consistently as governor in every way I knew how I could do that."
Mitt Romney, January 24, 2008.
"While I've said time and again that I oppose abortion, I've also indicated that I would not change in any way the abortion laws of Massachusetts, and I've honored my promises."
Governor Mitt Romney, 2005.
"I promised that if elected, I'd call a truce - a moratorium, if you will...I vowed to veto any legislation that sought to change the existing rules...I fully respect and will fully protect a woman's right to choose."
Mitt Romney, running for Governor of Massachusetts, 2002.
"He's been a pro-life Mormon faking it as a pro-choice friendly."
Michael Murphy, Romney advisor, 2005.
"I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I've been a hunter pretty much all my life."
Mitt Romney, April 3, 2007.
"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear. I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will. I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then. More than two times."
Mitt Romney, April 5, 2007.
UPDATE: Satirical Political suggests Mitt's next flip-flop.