Perrspectives - Bringing light to Darkness

The Avenging Angel

April 10, 2020
So Many Guilty. So Little Time to Punish Them All.

The Avenging Angel metes out punishment to the worst perpetrators of the vast conservative assault on the United States. Through public exposure of their hypocrisy, sexual perversities, maarital failings, political skullduggery, influence peddling, corporate crime and other common peccadilloes of the right, the Avenging Angel delivers retribution to the incredibly guilty in the form of bad press, broad ridicule, and ideally, incarceration. Regardless, for all of those on the lists below, a particularly warm seat has no doubt been reserved in Dante's inner circle.

The Avenging Angel Scale

 

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Generations yet unborn will speak of the smiting
 
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Retribution complete; laughingstock status attained
 
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Political career, marriage over
 
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Public redemption still possible; extra punishment may still be necessary
 
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Moderate public embarrassment; additional vengeance needed

 

Visits Made, Retribution Delivered

Last updated: January 22, 2009.

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Rush Limbaugh (January 2009)
The race-baiting right-wing talk show host reached a new low this week. Limbaugh welcomed Barack Obama's historic inauguration by proclaiming, "I hope Obama fails."  The next day, Limbaugh went further, complaining "we have to bend over, grab the ankles" because "this is the first black president." The only surprise, the Angel shrugs, is Limbaugh's apparent familiarity with ankle-grabbing.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Norm Coleman (December 2008)
The Minnesota Senator may be reaching the end of the line. The man who once described himself as "a 99% improvement" over the late Paul Wellstone now trails in the vote tally against Democrat Al Franken.  Worse still, Coleman is now lawyering up for a scandal involving funds funneled to his wife for suspicious home renovations. Contemplating defeat, Coleman reflected, "I'm sure I'll do something else." Such as, the Angel smiles, time in prison.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Paul Broun (November 2008)
The Georgia Congressman upped the ante on the GOP's failed socialism smear of Barack Obama. Not content to claim that Obama shows "signs of being Marxist," Broun went on to compare the President-elect to Adolf Hitler. When even his Republican friends objected, the Angel shrugs, Broun admitted regret over "putting it that way."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Marilyn Musgrave (November 2008)
The Colorado Congresswoman isn't just a loser, but a sore one at that. Soundly defeated 56% to 44% by Democrat Betsy Marky, Musgrave refused to call her opponent and concede. Then again, the Angel groans, Musgrave never conceded that same-sex marriage wasn't "the most important issue we face today."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ted Stevens (November 2008)
The end may finally be nigh for the octogenarian Alaska Senator. Stevens was found guilty on all seven counts of lying on financial disclosure forms regarding $250,000 in gifts from oil services company Veco. While Stevens amazingly still claims he wasn't convicted, the Angel grins, his escape from prison may ultimately depend on building a "series of tubes."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Michele Bachmann (October 2008)
The increasingly bizarre Representative is dropping jaws again. Having previously claimed that Jesus already saved the earth from global warming and that God is backing the U.S. in Iraq, Bachmann called for - and then denied calling for - a media investigation of "anti-American" members of Congress. Apparently, the Angel sighs, Senator McCarthy of Wisconsin has been reincarnated across the border in Minnesota.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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George Allen (September 2008)
The disgraced former Virginia Senator returned from obscurity only to disgrace himself further.  The man whose 2006 election imploded over MacacaGate resurfaced to declare, "Americans are not addicted to oil. Americans are addicted to freedom." Given all the free time he now has, the Angel grins, Allen must be higher than a kite.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ted Stevens (July 2008)
The octogenarian Alaska Senator and earmark king now finds his political career in jeopardy.  Stevens was indicted on charges of making false statements regarding $250,000 in gifts he received from the oil services company, Veco. With his reelection - and freedom - in doubt, the Angel grins, Stevens may soon have the time to learn that the Internet is not a "series of tubes."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Monica Goodling (July 2008)
Alberto Gonzales' former White House liaison was confirmed to have "crossed the line" by the Bush DOJ itself.  A Justice Department report found that Goodling violated federal law and DOJ policy by discriminating against job applicants who weren't faithful Republicans or conservative activists.  While Goodling at most will be disbarred for the crimes she committed, the Angel sighs, Americans can take some comfort that she "didn't mean to."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Stephen Payne (June 2008)
The Homeland Security adviser and high-profile Bush "Pioneer" was exposed in a bribery scheme this week.  Payne was caught on tape asking for six-figure donations to the Bush Library in exchange for access to the President and his team. While he said his deal-making could be "perceived to be bribery," DHS and a House committee seemed to agree and are looking into the matter.  The episode, the Angel sighs, promises to be just another major Payne for the Bush legacy.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Troy King (June 2008)
The Alabama attorney general and chair of the McCain campaign there received his comeuppance, so to speak. The anti-gay crusader and family values paragon King was caught with another man  engaged in acts not conducive to procreation.  While King refuses to resign, he has been erased from the McCain web site.  A fitting end, the Angel laughs, for a man who proclaimed, "Alabama is a state where actions definitely speak louder than words".

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Vito Fossella (June 2008)
The end came quickly for the Staten Island "family values" Republican.  In a political implosion of biblical proportions, Fossella decided against reelection after he was arrested on DWI charges while driving to the home of his mistress - and illegitimate daughter. Making matters worse for the GOP, Fossella's likely November stand-in, Frank Powers, died suddenly of a heart attack.  At least, the Angel sighs, Elliot Spitzer will have some company in the New York hall of shame.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Lurita Doan (April 2008)
The end is finally nigh for Doan, President Bush's reliable GOP operative at the GSA.  For months, Doan has faced a House probe over her dubious awarding of no-bid contracts to friends as well as possible Hatch Act violations for wrongly using her office to help "our candidates" in upcoming elections. Doan finally resigned on April 29th.  History's verdict on Doan as well as the "great president" she claimed to serve, the Angel notes, won't be kind.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Robert Coughlin (April 2008)
The former deputy chief of staff at the DOJ's criminal division is just the latest Banana Republican undone by the Jack Abramoff affair.  Coughlin pleaded guilty to accepting thousands of dollars in meals and sports tickets from Abramoff's old firm, Greenberg Traurig. Between 2001 and 2003, Coughlin in a particularly egregious conflict of interest used his office to aide both Abramoff and his old pal Kevin Ring in defrauding their Indian tribe clients. Years after his own indictment, the Angel notes, Jack Abramoff is still the gift that keeps on giving.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Alphonso Jackson (March 2008)
Bush's embattled HUD Secretary finally stepped down after years of service as a national disgrace.  Already in hot water for past admissions that political loyalty was an essential (and, of course, illegal) litmus test in how he awarded federal contracts, Jackson faced new charges of cronyism in public housing deals in Philadelphia. While his photo gallery at HUD has been removed, the Angel reminds us, the American people will always have this image of George W. Bush and Alphonso Jackson.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Richard Renzi (February 2008)
The hammer finally came down on the Arizona Congressman, prosecutors purge villain and co-chair of John McCain's campaign in the state.  Renzi faces a 35 count indictment on charges involving the use of his office in a crooked land deal that netted him over $700,000.  Renzi's woes topped a banner week for GOP corruption that saw Duke Cunningham bagman Brent Wilkes was sentenced to 12 years even as convicted Abramoff figure Bob Ney was moved to a halfway house. As for John McCain, the Angel notes, he is left to wonder about Renzi's children - all 12 of them.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tommy Franks (February 2008)
The Iraq war commander and Bush Medal of Freedom recipient found himself in hot water for his role in assisting dubious military charities.  Franks pocketed $100,000 from a group which used his image in fundraising appeals.  Unfortunately, much of the money produced went not to hospitalized Iraq and Afghanistan vets, but instead paid the personal expenses of its management.  After George W. Bush at the 2004 GOP convention, the Angel notes, this is the worst endorsement Tommy Franks ever made.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ron Paul (December 2007)
The Texas Congressman confirmed again this week that he is the second craziest candidate in the GOP presidential field.  While unable to match Mike Huckabee for pure extremism, Paul's own closet full of skeleton includes a racist screed from 1992.  Claiming that "95% of the black males" in Washington DC are criminals, Paul concluded "it is hardly irrational" to be afraid of black men.  Paul is apparently so bizarre, the Angel muses, that even Fox News is planning to keep him out its January 2008 presidential debate.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Nancy Nord (November 2007)
The head of the Consumer Products Safety Commission has some 'splaining to do.  First Nord demanded that Congress not increase the staffing and budget for her woefully under-funded agency in the face of massive Chinese product recalls.  Just days later, the Washington Post revealed that she and her predecessor Hal Stratton received up to 30 paid trips from companies they were supposedly regulating. While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has called for her resignation, the Angel muses, perhaps Nord should be demoted to food taste tester - in Beijing.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Mitch McConnell (October 2007)
The Senate Minority Leader once again showed himself to be a bald-faced liar this week.  Just days denying his staffer Don Stewart was behind the right-wing smear campaign against 12-year old S-CHIP recipient Graeme Frost, McConnell saw the role of his office in the GOP's slander detailed by the Kentucky media. It was McConnell who insisted on sworn testimony from Clinton aides in 1996, though not Bush staffers in 2007.  Maybe now, the Angel notes, he, might be willing take an oath to tell the truth himself.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rudy Giuliani (October 2007)
The 2008 GOP front-runner got a double-dose of bad news this week. First came word that his close friend and former NYPD commissioner Bernie Kerik will likely face federal charges including bribery, tax fraud and obstruction of justice.  Just days later we learned Mayor Giuliani gave Motorola a no-bid contract for radios that completely failed the NY Fire Department on 9/11. Perhaps Rudy's wife will call, the Angel shrugs, with some explanations.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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John McCain (September 2007)
The desperate GOP White House hopeful reached a new low this week. Ignoring de facto precedent to avoid partisan politics on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, McCain launched his "No Surrender" campaign swing.  Hoping to equate his own quixotic presidential run with his steadfastness on Iraq, an unapologetic McCain  claimed "if we leave Iraq, then it [9/11] will be repeated." Sadly for McCain, the Angel notes, Guiliani has him beat for fear-mongering.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Fred Thompson (June 2007)
The Law and Order star and the leading 2008 GOP non-candidate has had a very bad week indeed.  Just days after his starring role as a Scooter Libby apologist and Nixon mole pleased the right, it was revealed that the one-time lobbyist worked for pro-choice and criminal rights clients. Now, conflicts between Thompson staffers and his trophy wife have campaign aides - and contributors - jumping ship. With Fred yet to formally enter the race, the Angel muses, we may be witnessing the first premature withdrawal of election '08.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rudy Giuliani (June 2007)
An Avenging Angel pick for the second time in a month, the former New York mayor has had a very bad week.  Last week, Rudy's South Carolina campaign chairman Thomas Ravenel was busted for intent to distribute cocaine.  His Palmetto State team acted quickly, replacing Ravenel with his racist father Arthur, who famously called the NAACP the "National Association for Retarded People."  And the day after Salon profiled Giuliani business partner and accused pedophile Monsignor Alan Placa, former EPA chief Christie Todd Whitman drew Rudy into the quagmire over the Ground Zero environmental disaster. And then there was the story about the self-proclaimed 9/11 hero blowing off the Iraq Study Group. In comparison, the Angel laughs, getting caught in drag would be a welcome relief for Giuliani.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Mitt Romney (June 2007)
The man pretending to be a conservative during his White House bid joined Rudy Giuliani in having a tough week.  First, long-time Romney aide Jay Garrity left the campaign after revelations he repeatedly pretended to be  Secret Service agent and state trooper.  Then, Romney pledge to "double" Gitmo  was put at risk by rumors the Bush White House would shutter the facility.  And just days later, the Boston Globe detailed how Mitt got a Vietnam deferment in order to serve his Mormon mission in France.  While Romney took his lumps this week, the Angel notes, his hair remains perfect.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Lurita Doan (June 2007)
The GSA administrator was formally revealed as GOP political appendage in a report this week.  A U.S. Office of Special Counsel report concluded that Doan violated the Hatch Act in hosting meetings with Team Rove to "help our candidates." The report was sent to the White House with the obvious recommendation that Doan be dismissed.  President Bush, the Angel concludes, will get on that juust after he sacks Alberto Gonzales.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ted Stevens (June 2007)
The Alaska Senator who famously described the Internet as a "bunch of tubes" may see his career down the drain.  While his state senator son is caught up in the Veco bribery case, Stevens has been linked to his son's bogus consulting fees from fishery firms and real estate companies. It's no wonder, the Angel nods,  the good people of Alaska decided not to erect a 9 foot state of their senior Senator.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Dr. James Holsinger (June 2007)
President Bush's nominee as surgeon general hopes to make homophobia national policy.  Holsinger founded a church which "ministers to people who no longer wish to be gay or lesbian". And in 1991, Holsinger authored a paper citing the dangers of "anal eroticism."  Taking a page from Alaska Senator Ted Stevens book on the Internet, he also used plumbing analogies of pipes and tubes to describe human sexuality.  Holsinger, the Angel fumes, is the worst high-profile Republican physician since Schiavo video-diagnostician Bill Frist.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rudy Giuliani (May 2007)
The former New York mayor now rivals Mitt Romney as the leading abortion flip-flopper in the 2008 GOP field.  Just days after declaring "it would be OK" if the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Apparently, Giuliani has decided to tell the truth and tell Republican primary voters he supports abortion rights. Since Giuliani, like Mitt Romney's wife, gave money to Planned Parenthood, it's the least he could do.  The question now, the Angel ponders, is whether Giuliani just prematurely terminated his hopes for the GOP nomination.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Randall Tobias (May 2007)
The head of US AID resigned after revelations he was a regular client of the DC Madam.  The abstinence advocate apparently was having "gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." President Bush has proposed replacing his face to the developing world with a woman who called Hispanics "lazy" and described African-Americans as preferring selling drugs to work.  As for Tobias, the Angel grins, there will be no happy ending.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Julie MacDonald (May 2007)
The deputy assistant secretary for fish, wildlife and parks at the Bush Interior Department preemptively resigned just days before a Capitol Hill hearing.  Already under investigation by the department's Inspector General, MacDonald mocked her employees and pressured staff to change scientific findings about threatened wildlife.  Perhaps the yellow-bellied GOP hack, the Angel muses, will soon join the list of endangered species.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Pete Domenici (April 2007)
The Senator known as "el jefe" in his home state of New Mexico is now in deep caca over his role in the U.S. attorney firings.  Domenici lawyered up in the wake of revelations that he pressed sack U.S. attorney David Iglesias over possible indictments of NM Democrats. Now the AP is reporting the once-invincible Domenici may retire in 2008.  As Iglesias might have said, the Angel grins, Domenici "can't handle the truth."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Paul Wolfowitz (April 2007)
Rumseld right-hand man and Iraq war architect at the Pentagon now finds himself in serious trouble over at the World Bank.  With his dictatorial style and allegations he arranged an unprecedented  promotion and raise for his colleague-girlfriend, Wolfowitz now faces calls for his resignation.  And here he thought, the Angel snickers, that holes in his socks were his biggest problem.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tom Delay (April 2007)
The disgraced former House Majority Leader is back with a vengeance and a new book.  After attacking his own one-time Texas GOP colleague Dick Armey as "drunk with ambition," the former exterminator deployed the language of the Nazi final solution against the Democrats.  After comparing liberals to Hitler, he compared his own indictment back in Texas with the persecution and deaths of 6,000,000 Jews in the Holocaust. The only analogy we hear from the Hammer more often, the Angel groans, is the self-proclaimed comparison of Tom Delay and Jesus Christ.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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David Stockman (April 2007)
The wrong-doings of former Reagan OMB head and supply-side junky finally caught with David Stockman.  As William Grieder famously documented, the arrogant "tax cut and spend" Stockman was the architect of the massive Republican budget deficits we've learned to know and hate.  Stockman's comeuppance finally came, with his indictment last month on charges of defrauding investors and banks.  Some times, a satisfied Angel laughs, the wheels of justice turn slowly.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rudy Giuliani (April 2007)
September 2001 may have catapulted New York's mayor to national prominence, but April 2007 may keep him from the White House.  His protege Bernard Kerik continues to be albatross, with revelations that Giuliani knew early on of his ties to mob-related firms yet continued to push President for Kerik to head Homeland Security.  Days later, we learned that Rudy is his third wife's third husband.  And in recent days, American discovered that America's Mayor doesn't know much about nuclear proliferation, the Confederate flag or the price of milk.  For Rudy, the Angel laughs, the GOP primaries really will be a drag.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bernard Kerik (April 2007)
President Bush's aborted Homeland Security pick in even more hot water and might yet take Rudy Giuliani and Alberto Gonzales down with him.  In March, Kerik rejected a plea deal involving charges of alleged tax fraud, conspiracy to eavesdrop and mortgage fraud.  Just two weeks later, new revelations showed that Giuliani and Gonzales continued to support Kerik to run DHS even after the White House learned of his ties to mob-related firms. His legal woes appear to be hurting his consulting business.  Like Oliver North, Gordon Liddy and other GOP felons past, the Angel ponders, Kerik can still count on a home at Fox News.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jim Gibbons (April 2007)
Already in an ethical hole, the Republican Governor of Nevada just keeps digging.  Only weeks after surviving a scandal surrounding a rumored sexual assault, Gibbons and his wife are being investigated for possible bribes involving not one but two defense contractors.  Email records include such money lines as "please don't forget to bring the money you promised Jim and Dawn." Gibbons responded by claiming that "I have heard that the Democrats have paid to have these Wall Street Journal articles written." What happens in Vegas, the Angel muses, doesn't necessarily stay in Vegas.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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John McCain (April 2007)
Mr. Straight Talk took his flagging presidential campaign to Iraq as a part of PR surge to deflect his latest gaffe.  On March 26, McCain touted areas of the capital "where you and I could walk."  To prove his point, the Arizona Senator toured a Baghdad market - donning a flak jacket and accompanied by 100 U.S. troops and several helicopter gunships.  It's no wonder, the Angel laughs, that NBC's Tom Aspell claimed that with similar protection, "even Paris Hilton could ride a bicycle in a bikini through Anbar province."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Newt Gingrich (March 2007)
The former House Speaker committed a trifecta of offenses in the run-up to a possible White House race.  First, Newt called Hillary Clinton, his one-time partner of health care records reform, a "nasty woman" and "endlessly ruthless."  Then at the CPAC conference, Gingrich described New Orleans residents as "so uneducated and so unprepared" they could not avoid Hurricane Katrina.  It's no wonder, the Angel laughs, that the thrice-married Newt told Focus on the Family's James Dobson that he had "gotten on my knees and sought God’s forgiveness."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Doug Feith (February 2007)
The former Undersecretary of Defense for Policy was savaged this week for his political manipulation of intelligence in the run-up to the war in Iraq.  A report by the Penatgon inspector general found that Feith's "inappropriate" briefings to White House decision makers failed to note the strong disagreement of the CIA over the nonexistent Saddam-Al Qaeda link, among other issues.  An angry Feith took the pages of the Washington Post to defend his bad name.  It's no wonder, the Angel notes, that Colin Powell aide Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson said of Feith "seldom in my life have I met a dumber man" and fellow Iraq architect Tommy Franks deemed him simply "the f**king stupidest guy on the face of the earth."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tommy Franks (February 2007)
The staggering incompetence of the former CentComm commander and Republican wannabe was revealed in newly declassified documents this week.  The materials showed a wildly optimistic Centcomm war plan that predicted 5,000 U.S. troops in Iraq by the end of 2006. It's no wonder Franks was at the center of Thomas Rick's defining book on Iraq, Fiasco.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Frank Gaffney (February 2007)
The neo-con columnist and security hardliner was smited this week for misappropriating Abraham Lincoln in defense of George W. Bush.  In a bizarre column attacking congressional foes of Bush's surge in Iraq, Gaffney claimed to quote an admonition from Lincoln that such opponents "are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged."  As it turns out, the words were not Lincoln's, but belonged to J. Michael Waller, who penned them in 2003 for another Moonie rag, Insight.  On this as in everything else about Iraq, the Angel sighs, Gaffney had it wrong.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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J. Steven Griles (February 2007)
The former Interior Department deputy secretary found himself in a deeper hole this week.  Already under investigation over allegations he assisted Jack Abramoff in milking tribal casino clients, Griles was revealed to have jointly purchased a home with his girlfriend (a former Justice Department official) with an oil industry lobbyist.  Republican politics, the Angel grins, makes strange bedfellows indeed.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Darrell Issa (February 2007)
The California Republican reached a new low last week during committee hearings discussing the role of Iraq contractor Blackwater.  After the widows of the four contractors slaughtered in Fallujah read their prepared statement, Issa asked "who wrote it?" Just another sad chapter, the Angel notes, for the man who cried like a baby in 2003 when he realized that Arnold would be the next governor of California.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Condoleezza Rice (February 2007)
The Secretary of State this week once again did what she does best - playing dumb.  As the war of words over Iranian involvement in Iraq heated up, Condi denied revelations that she received a 2003 peace proposal from the Tehran regime.  Despite evidence from Richard Armitage and Flynt Leverett that the White House rejected the Iranian offer, Rice claims she does not recall ever seeing it. I believe, the Angel laughs, it was called, "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kyle "Dusty" Foggo (February 2007)
Porter Goss' one-time #3 man at the CIA was indicted this week on corruption charges involving his close friend and Duke Cunningham bag man Brent Wilkes. The 11 counts against Foggo and Wilkes that include conspiracy, wire fraud, conflict of interest and money laundering.  This latest black eye for the CIA and its GOP allies in the House includes lurid tales of bribes, payoffs and prostitutes.  It's no wonder, the Angel muses, Porter Goss decided to hear for the hills.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Pat Robertson (February 2007)
The American Taliban stalwart is back in the news for making another death threat.  Back in August 2005, Robertson famously called for the U.S. to kill Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.  Now, facing a lawsuit copyright lawsuit, Robertson threatened bodybuilder Philip Busch, saying "I am going to kill you and your family." Robertson's God, the Angel ponders, works in mysterious ways.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Charles Stimson (February 2007)
The Deputy Secretary of Defense paid the price for supporting President Bush's politics of payback.  In an interview with Federal News Radio, Stimson threatened law firms representing Gitmo detainees such as Hamdan, warning that corporate CEO's will force them to "choose between lucrative retainers and representing terrorists." Despite recanting in a Washington Post apology, Stimson resigned in disgrace. Stimson, the Angel notes, suffered the media equivalent of water-boarding.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tony Snow (January 2007)
The White House press secretary's dissembling and dishonesty earned him a second smiting from the Avenging Angel this month.  Having attacked NBC's David Gregory as "partisan" in December for asking a question about Bush's rejection of the Iraq Study Group recommendations, Snow in January falsely claimed the President was heeding them.  Days after praising the Iranian people as "more pro-American than any American university faculty,"  Snow dismissed media estimates of the crowd size of the anti-war march in Washington.  Snow, the Angel sighs, is just the latest conservative with a gift for fiction.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Condi Rice (January 2007)
The Secretary of State continued to disgrace the nation with her latest rhetorical disasters.  Hoping to deflect criticism over the looming Iraq escalation, the feckless Rice feebly tried to assuage the Senate by referring her boss' wildly unpopular Iraq strategy as an "augmentation." In a rare moment of candor caught on tape, an unsuspecting Rice then praised the White House's unpaid propaganda appendage Fox News, "My Fox guys, I love every single one of them."  The talking point, the Angel muses, was called "Bush determined to strike in U.S."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Frank Hargrove (January 2007)
The Republican Virginia state legislator joined his home state GOP colleagues George Allen and Virgil Goode in misplaying the race card this week. Delegate Hargrove proclaimed that "our black citizens should get over" slavery, adding "are we going to force the Jews to apologize for killing Christ?" Hargrove, the Angel grins, now finds himself in deep macaca.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Charles Stimson (January 2007)
The Deputy Secretary of Defense reflected President Bush's disregard for the rule of law.  In an interview with Federal News Radio, Stimson threatened law firms representing Gitmo detainees such as Hamdan, warning that corporate CEO's will force them to "choose between lucrative retainers and representing terrorists."  Stimson recanted in a Washington Post apology, the Angel notes, only after suffering the media equivalent of water-boarding.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tony Snow (January 2007)
The White House press secretary and Fox News appendage continued his ill-considered racial rhetoric this week.  Just months after reintroducing the slur "tar baby" into the White House press room, Snow urged ABC's Martha Raddatz to "play that funky music, white girl" after hearing her cell phone ring tone.  Given Tony's current dissembling over the President's Iraq "surge," the Angry One expects Snow to get jiggy with it.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Virgil Goode (December 2006)
The Virginia Congressman took right-wing Muhammed bashing to new heights this week.  Goode, who like Katherine Harris took illegal campaign contributions from Duke Cunningham bag man MZM, is now frothing at the mouth over Muslim and U.S. born citizen freshman Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN).  In a venom-filled email to constituents, Goode decried a future with "many more Muslims in the United States" that would result from failure to back his draconian immigration restrictions. The Avenger notes that the unapologetic Goode, who declared "I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way," seems wholly unacquainted with both the Bible and U.S. Constitution as well.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (December 2006)
The Florida Congresswoman joined Pat Robertson on the list of conservative assassination advocates this week. Ros-Lehtinen rose to fame during the Elian Gonzales imbroglio, pushing a bill to grant him citizenship.  Now the anti-Castro crusader has gone many steps further, first saying she "welcome the opportunity" for anyone to kill Fidel, only to then deny it.  Just another reason, the Angel sighs, to end the embargo of Cuba now.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill Frist (December 2006)
In one of the least surprising political announcements in recent years, former Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist decided against a run for the White House in 2008.  After his SEC insider trading investigation, misuse of campaign funds, stem cell flip-flop and Senate floor misdiagnosis of Terri Schiavo, Frist's presidential ambitions were already on life-support. Frist's political career, the Angel grins, had long since entered a persistent vegetative state.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Dennis Hastert (December 2006)
The former House Speaker got a wrist-slap this week for role in the Mark Foley page scandal.  Whie avoiding charges of breaking the law or violating House rules, Hastert was admonished by an ethics panel for remaining "willfully ignorant" of the growing danger Foley posed.  Now merely a disgraced Republican rep, the Angel notes, perhaps Hastert will turn over a new page.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Mitt Romney (December 2006)
The 2008 GOP presidential hopeful added a new chapter to his growing legend of hypocrisy. As it turns out, the vocal crusader against illegal immigration routinely hired illegal aliens to do landscaping at his home. Just another day at the office, the Angel notes, for a man whose own staff referred to as "a pro-life Mormon faking it as a pro-choice friendly."

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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The Bush Twins (November 2006)
Twins Barbara and Jenna Bush showed once again that their President father isn't the only international disgrace in the family. During their trip to Argentina, Barbara the younger managed to get her purse stolen, despite Secret Service protection.  Just days later, the U.S. Embassy in Buenos Aires asked the Bush daughters gone wild to cut short their disastrous South American adventure.  Alas, the Angel sighs, they like their father refused to cut and run.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ted Haggard (November 2006)
The pastor of the New Life mega-church and head of the 30,000,000 National Association of Evangelicals got bitch-slapped by the Avenging Angel this week. A regular participant in President Bush's weekly American Taliban conference calls and an outspoken opponent of anything gay, Haggard resigned after revelations he paid for sex with a gay escort for three years.  Apparently, the Angel muses, Haggard is just the latest conservative gay, anti-gay crusader to go down in flames.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jim Gibbons (October 2006)
Republican Congressman and Nevada gubernatorial candidate Jim Gibbons may have gambled and lost in Las Vegas. Gibbons finds himself at the center of a sexual assault inquiry involving a cocktail waitress.  As his lead evaporates, Gibbons called in the cavalry in the form of President Bush.  Apparently, the Angel muses, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Mark Foley (October 2006)
The now former Florida Congressman got a five-star smiting this week for his predilection for post-pubescent pages.  ABC's revelations about Foley's lewd and lurid emails and instant messages to Hill teens not only ended his career, but may yet take down Dennis Hastert and others in the GOP House leadership.  The Republicans are rewriting American history, the Angel grimaces, one page at a time.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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George Allen (September 2006)
MacacaGate apparently is just the tip of the iceberg for the Virginia Senator and rabid neo-Confederate.  A flurry of press press reports detailed Allen's use of the N-word during his days at UVa, as well as his depositing a severed deer's head into the mailbox of a black family.  Coming just days after his angry admission of Jewish lineage, this is just the  latest sad chapter, the Angel sighs, for the Confederate flag-waving Allen.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Alphonso Jackson (September 2006)
The HUD secretary found himself up to the neck in it for his role in withholding contracts from critics of President Bush. An Inspector General's report confirmed allegations first aired in May, while a former Jackson spokesman admitted lying to the press about Jackson's earlier comments.  Jackson's only service to the President, the Avenging Angel grins, is letting Bush rub his bald head.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bob Ney (September 2006)
The Ohio Banana Republican's house of cards came tumbling down this week.  After dropping out of his reelection race in August, Congressman Ney pleaded guilty to a host of charges in the Jack Abramoff affair, including making false statements and conspiracy to commit fraud.  While Ney has stepped down from two House committees, he faces growing pressure to resign from Congress.  Abramoff, the Avenging Angel muses, is the gift that keeps on giving.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill Frist (September 2006)
Just days after revelations he let his medical license lapse, the Senate Majority Leader was bitched-slapped again by the Avenging Angel.  After a recent tour of Gitmo, Doctor Frist pronounced the conditions "excellent" and praised "24/7 medical care - better than many Americans get."  Given his Senate floor misdiagnosis of Terri Schiavo, the Angel notes, that group of Americans clearly includes Frist's patients.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Arnold Schwarzenegger (September 2006)
The California Republican this week added bigotry to a growing list of sins already featuring sexual harassment and conflict of interest.  The LA Times revealed that the Governator managed to slander both African-Americans and Hispanics with a single slur during a March 2006 meeting. Given that his father was an Austrian Nazi, Arnold's comments about the "hot" mix of "black blood" and "Latino blood" seemed to come as no surprise.  At least, the Angel muses, he didn't call them "macaca."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill Frist (September 2006)
The Senate Majority Leader's presidential aspirations absorbed another body blow this week.  Already under investigation by the SEC for insider trading, Doctor Frist had yet to recover from his Senate floor witness malpractice in the Schiavo case.  Now it turns out that the Bad Doctor let his Tennessee medical license lapse.  Not surprising, the Angry One notes, for a guy who used to dissect cats for fun.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ted Stevens (September 2006)
The Alaska Senator and Republican porkmeister suffered a double-dose of humiliation from the Avenging Angel this week.  Just days after it was revealed that Stevens was the "Secret Senator" who put a hold on a public database for federal grants and earmarks to contractors, the FBI pursuing corruption tied to oil interests raided the offices of Alaskan Republicans, including Stevens' son Ben.  Stevens is concerned about the cost of the database, the Angels nods, in much the same way that the Internet is "a series of tubes."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kenneth Tomlinson (September 2006)
President Bush's one-time Minister of Disinformation at PBS suffered another devastating blow this week.  In November, Tomlinson cut short his effort to steer Big Bird to the right after a damning report showed ethics violations in hiring and recruiting.  Now, new revelations claim Tomlinson as chairman of the board that oversees the Voice of America put friends on the payroll and funding a "horse racing operation" with government dollars.  Perhaps, the Angel muses, that's what conservatives mean when they talk about privatizing public broadcasting.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Conrad Burns (August 2006)
The Montana Senator lived up to his recent claim that he could "self-destruct in one sentence."  Just weeks after attacking out-of-state firefighters who came to the aid of Montana, Burns belittled the "nice little Guatemalan man" who does work on his house.  Perhaps joking about Hugo's green card, the Angel muses, might earn Burn's a ticket back to Big Sky Country.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Katherine Harris (August 2006)
The Florida Congresswoman and Senate candidate drew the ire of the Avenging Angel for her public call for divine intervention.  Troubled by campaign turmoil, beset by ethics woes and trailing by 35%, Harris turned to God for help this week. Calling the separation of church and state "a lie we've been told," Harris told religious right supporters that failing to elect Christian would result in government that would "legislate sin."  According to Harris, "God is the one who chooses our rulers."  If so, the Angel muses, He must really like Democrat Bill Nelson.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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George Allen (August 2006)
The neo-Confederate Virginia Senator and 2008 GOP hopeful found himself in deep macaca this week.  During a campaign event in front of an all white audience, Allen singled out Webb campaign volunteer and U.S. citizen S.R. Sidarth as a "macaca."  In his faux apology, Allen claimed ignorance of the meaning of the term, a North African racial slur likely not unknown to Allen's Tunisian mother.  This latest episode is in character, the Angel sighs, for the Confederate flag-waving Allen.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tramm Hudson (August 2006)
The GOP hopeful in Florida's 13th district became just the latest Republican race baiter to run afoul of the Avenging Angel.  During a recent campaign event, the former Alabaman Hudson declared "I know from experience, that blacks are not the greatest swimmers." Unlike Katherine Harris, whose seat he seeks to fill, Hudson at least realized "I said something stupid."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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John Bolton (July 2006)
President Bush's wildly unpopular choice at the UN showed once again why he's the man people love to hate.  During  confirmation hearings, Bolton explained that he skipped a UN summit on Darfur due to a "personal commitment in the United Kingdom." Speaking to a right-wing think tank in London  apparently was more important than genocide in Sudan.  Whether or not Bolton keeps his seat in the UN, the Angel muses, he is guaranteed a warm seat in hell.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Michael Steele (July 2006)
The arch-conservative Senate candidate tried to have it all ways this week with Maryland's moderate and African-American voters.   In anonymous comments to the press, Steele trashed his own Republican Party and dissed President Bush's handling of Katrina.  After blaming  the press for taking comments out of context, Steele came clean and called Dubya his "homeboy." Just another case, the Angel notes, of the GOP keepin' it real with black voters.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Mike Leavitt (July 2006)
The Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) earned the wrath of the Angel this week for proving that charity does indeed begin at home.   Bush's go-to man on blocking the morning after pill used a non-profit foundation to enrich himself and family members.  With Senators clamoring for the IRS to close the "Leavitt loophole," the HHS chief may have to turn to Plan B.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jim West (July 2006)
The Avenging Angel takes no pleasure in today's news regarding Jim West, the disgraced former mayor of Spokane.  West, yet another hypocritical Republican values merchant, was recalled by voters after revelations that he offered city jobs and other favors to young men in exchange for sex.  West passed away this week after complications from colon cancer surgery.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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John Fund (July 2006)
The former Wall Street Journal editor and reliable GOP mouthpiece finds himself at the center of an embarrassing lawsuit. Fund is being sued by a former girlfriend who claims she was battered by the paragon of conservative values.  The truth of the charges may be doubt, but Fund's smarminess is not. Fund can dish the dirt, the Angel asks, but can he take it?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bernard Kerik (July 2006)
The former New York police commissioner and one-time Bush Homeland Security pick has completed his fall from grace.  Kerik pleaded guilty to taking illicit gifts from a firm with mob ties while still running Rudy Giuliani's NYPD.  His plea capped a string ethical failings for the one-time Bush hatchet man, including nanny problems, affairs, Korean bastard love children, dubious stock deals and other conflicts of interest.  It's just too bad, the Angel notes, that the Kerik won't be spending some time in the jail that used to bear his name.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rush Limbaugh (June 2006)
The face of right wing radio got a chuckle from the Avenging Angel on Monday for once again running afoul of the law over prescription drugs.  Only weeks after doing a deal over charges of doctor shopping for the painkiller oxycontin, Limbaugh was stopped at the Miami airport for possession of Viagra without a prescription.  Like Bob Dole before him, the Angel muses, Rush is just another dysfunctional member of the conservative movement.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Don Goldwater (June 2006)
The nephew of the late Arizona Senator earned the ire of the Avenging Angel and fellow state Republicans for his illegal  immigrant "tent city" proposal this week.  Goldwater, a gubernatorial candidate, was quoted as endorsing the use of illegal aliens to "labor in the construction of a wall and to clean the areas of the Arizona desert that they're polluting."  Extremism in the defense of extremism, the Angel ponders, is no virtue.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Dennis Hastert (June 2006)
The Speaker of the House faces the wrath of the Avenging Angel for redefining pork (so to speak).  In a sweetheart land deal that makes Whitewater look like a half-off sale at Wal Mart, Hastert pocketed a $1.5 million profit by selling property in his district  just four months after securing $207 million in federal funds to build a highway nearby.  Hastert, the Angel muses, may yet become the GOP poster boy for pigs at the trough.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rep. Jerry Lewis (June 2006)
The California Congressman joins the list of Republicans smote by the Avenging Angel for funneling interest group money to PACs or non-profits run by family members.  Lewis' step-daughter received almost $45,000, a third of all funds raised by her Small Biz Tech PAC, from lobbyist and former Lewis staffer Letitia White.  White also shills for Trident Systems, which has pocketed $40 million in federal funds from Lewis' Appropriations Committee.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Karl Zinsmeister (June 2006)
The replacement for faith-based kleptomaniac Claude Allen as Bush's domestic policy advisor had one hell of a week. Within days of his selection by Bush, the former AEI mouthpiece was revealed to have padded his resume, altered news articles on his web site, invited Iraqi insurgents to set off bombs near U.S. reporters and called Washingtonians  "morally repugnant."  In his defense, the Angel muses, Zinsmeister isn't stealing from Target stores - yet.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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James Inhofe (June 2006)
The Oklahoma Senator and global warming denier reached a new low this week during the GOP's gay-bashing debate over same-sex marriage.  Inhofe proudly proclaimed on the Senate floor that his family "never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship."  The Angry One notes that Inhofe, who pocketed $290,000 from oil and gas companies in his 2002 race, is only too happy to get on his knees for energy interests.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ken Lay (May 2006)
The former Enron CEO got a five-star smiting from the Avenging Angel with this week's guilty verdicts.  Lay, the Bush family sugar daddy and Dubya Pioneer, was convicted on all charges in the Enron case and may face life in prison. The man who helped bankrupt California ratepayers, the Angel grins, may now face some "Grandma Millie" treatment of his own.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Robert Ray (May 2006)
Kenneth Starr's successor as Bill Clinton Grand Inquisitor got his just desserts this week in New York. Ray, who famously said of Clinton, "no person is above the law,"  surrendered to the NYPD on charges of stalking his former girlfriend. Then again, the Angel muses, it all depends of what the meaning of "stalking" is.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kyle "Dusty" Foggo (May 2006)
Just days after his boss Porter Goss stepped down, the CIA's #3 man resigned amid allegations arising from the HookerGate scandal.  On Friday, federal agents raided Foggo's home and CIA office.  With jail time likely over his role in lobbyist funded poker and prostitution parties, the Angel notes, Foggo will learn that it is better to give than receive.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ernie Fletcher (May 2006)
Kentucky's Governor is just the latest to join the ranks of the Banana Republicans. Fletcher was indicted last week on conspiracy charges involving a scheme to award state jobs to his political supporters. The upside for Fletcher?  Apparently he doesn't know Jack Abramoff or Duke Cunningham.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Alphonso Jackson (May 2006)
The HUD secretary found himself in hot water this week over his claims in a May speech that he withheld contracts from critics of President Bush. Jackson's defense for his apparent law-breaking was that he was a liar. The claim, he says, was simply made up.  Par for the course for the Bush administration.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Neil Volz (May 2006)
Ohio Rep. Bob Ney's former chief of staff pleaded guilty last week to conspiracy charges in the Jack Abramoff case. Volz faces up to five years in prison and a fine of $250,000 for trying to bribe his former boss. Republican Ney, also known as "Representative #1" in court papers, may yet become his cell mate.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Dr. Lester Crawford (April 2006)
The former head of the Bush FDA faces a criminal inquiry for financial misdeeds and lying to Congress. Last fall, Crawford, a vet by training and a friend of big Pharma, reneged on a pledge by HHS chief Mike Leavitt to finally allow the Plan B pill to be sold over the counter.  Then, the "Morning After" FDA commissioner mysteriously terminated himself after only two months on the job.  Now we know why. For Crawford, the Angel chuckles, the bitter pill of jail time could be just what the doctor ordered.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rush Limbaugh (April 2006)
The original blowhard of right-wing radio showed the Avenging Angel once again why he may be the luckiest man in America.  Nailed on charges involving prescription pain killers that would have landed most people in jail, Limbaugh on Friday got a sweetheart deal on one count of doctor shopping.  Rush faces only 18 months of treatment and supervision, rather than the more fitting punishment of years as a jail house love slave.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kenneth Blackwell (April 2006)
The Secretary of State and gubernatorial hopeful added his name to the long list of Ohio Republicans smited by the Avenging Angel.  It was revealed that Blackwell, a central villain in voter suppression by the GOP during the 2004 election, bought stock in electronic voting machine vendor and GOP cash cow Diebold.  Meanwhile, the man he's trying to displace, Robert Taft, may be disbarred for ethics violations involving CoinGate's Tom Noe. And Ohioans once thought the Cuyahoga River was dirty.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Antonin Scalia (April 2006)
Already #7 on the Avenging Angel's list of evil doers, Scalia earned a double-smiting this week.  First, the Court's most outspoken Justice refused to recuse himself after weighing in publicly on the upcoming Hamdan hearing.  Then, he used a Boston church setting to show and tell a reporter the Sicilian version of "f**k you." Like Dick Cheney, the Angry One muses, Scalia demonstrates Bush's notion of bringing "civility and respect" to Washington.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Barbara Bush (March 2006)
The mythic image of Barbara Bush as "America's Grandmother" suffered another body blow this week. The Houston Chronicle revealed that Mrs. Bush directed contributions to the Bush-Clinton Katrina relief fund on the condition that the undisclosed funds be spent on products and services from the company of her ne'er do well son Neil. Her dog Millie, the Angel muses, wasn't the only bitch in the Bush household.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Pat Robertson (March 2006)
The American Taliban stalwart earned his second smiting by the Avenging Angel in the last year. While hyping "The Professors," the latest hate screed from 60's radical turned goose-stepping conservative David Horowitz, Robertson called supposed "radical" professors "racists, murderers, sexual deviants and supporters of Al-Qaeda." That is tough talk, the Angel muses, for a man who still hasn't assassinated Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Claude Allen (March 2006)
The gay-bashing senior White House domestic policy advisor  and rejected Bush judicial nominee saw his career come to an end this week.  Allen, who earned $161,000 a year in the Bush White House, was busted for his Target refund fraud scheme. While at HHS, Allen the born again felon defunded AIDS groups and lectured CDC researchers on abstinence.  In prison, the Angel reflects, Allen may find that it is better to give than receive.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tucker Carlson (March 2006)
The MSNBC host and George Will wannabe got bitch-slapped this week for his hidden conflict of interest in the CIA leak case. Last year, Carlson sneered at Valerie Plame's covert status and referred to Scooter prosecutor  as a "disgrace."  As it turns out, Tucker's dad is an advisor to the Scooter Libby legal defense fund. CNN's one-time disgrace, the Angel notes, now appears nightly on MSNBC; hopefully not for much longer.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rick Santorum (February 2006)
We learned this week that the GOP's point man for ethics reform in the Senate has some ethical woes of his own.  In a devastating piece, the American Prospect details a sweetheart mortgage deal and padded expense accounts for the Santorum clan courtesy of campaign contributors. It's no wonder that Santorum, whose sole political legacy had been highlighting the perils of man-on-dog relationships, believes "it takes a family."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Dick Cheney (February 2006)
The #2 man on the Avenging Angel's Top 10 Transgressors List gave his opponents (and at least one friend)  plenty of ammunition this week. Hunting without the proper license, Cheney accidentally blasted 78 year-old, fellow Republican Harry Whittington while trying to bag a quail.  Looking back on it, the Angel muses, Senator Pat Leahy was lucky to get away with an "F bomb" from the trigger happy Veep.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ken Starr (February 2006)
Bill Clinton's Grand Inquisitor found himself in the spotlight last week for a fraud of his own.  The self-righteous Starr and a fellow lawyer apparently concocted fake letters from jurors asking California's governor to spare their death row client's life. Starr, the Angry One laughs, still doesn't know what the meaning of "is" is.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Michael Steele (February 2006)
The Republican Lt. Governor found out the hard way that you shouldn't get caught pretending to be a moderate. Maryland's African-American Lt. Governor and Senate hopeful angered  Jewish voters with his comparison of stem cell research to the Holocaust.  As the Baltimore Jewish Council learned last week, Steele doesn't know from Mengele.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bob Ney (January 2006)
Things went from bad to worse for Ney, the Ohio Congressman and leading Banana Republican. Ney, implicated in the Abramoff case as "Rep. #1", was forced to step down as chairman of the House Administration Committee.  While Speaker Hastert couldn't afford to have him preside over the House GOP sham ethics reform, Ohio Republican chairman Bob Bennett urged Ney to resign if indicted. Jack Abramoff is, the Angry One chuckles, the gift that keeps on giving.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tom Delay (January 2006)
The Avenging Angel smiled as the former exterminator bowed to the inevitable and finally stepped down from his House Majority Leader role.  Facing a revolt from his own GOP colleagues in the wake of the Abramoff plea, Delay vowed to fight for reelection even in the face of his Texas indictment, saying, "I have always acted in an ethical manner." What else would you expect, the Angel smirks, from a man who compared himself to Jesus?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jack Abramoff (January 2006)
The Avenging Angel grinned broadly with the guilty plea of GOP super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff. As many as 20 high-profile Banana Republicans in Congress, the White House and K Street could be targeted by the ongoing investigation. To Abramoff, the gift that keeps on giving, the Angry One can say only, "mazeltov."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Chris Wallace (December 2005)
The Fox News anchor showed his conservative family values this week. During a November interview with his father, 60 Minutes' Mike Wallace, Wallace welled up and said he loved his 87 year-old dad.  This Sunday, after his dad made comments critical of President Bush, Wallace the younger declared "He’s lost it...we’re going to have a competence hearing pretty soon." Wallace's affection for Bush, the Angel grumbles, is the  love that dare not speak its name.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Spokane Mayor Jim West (December 2005)
West, the gay anti-gay mayor of Spokane, got a five-star smiting from the Avenging Angel this week.  In a recall election this week, Spokane voters chose overwhelmingly to send West packing (so to speak) for cruising gay web sites and offering jobs to young men, including an internship to a Spokesman-Review investigator posing as an online chat partner. The Angel could only laugh as another Republican failed the GOP Boy Scout Test.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Randy "Duke" Cunningham (November 2005)
The California Congressman received a 5-star smiting from the Avenging Angel for his role in a bribery scandal this week.  The Dukester pleaded guilty to tax evasion and conspiracy charges and admitted taking over $2.4 million in bribes from defense industry contractors. With Cunningham's conviction and resignation, a satisfied Avenging Angel notes, you can scratch off one more Banana Republican.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jean Schmidt (November 2005)
The Ohio Congresswoman and Bush lapdog earned the wrath of the Avenging Angel for her vicious slur against colleague and Marine hero John Murtha (D-PA).   Schmidt took to the House floor and  cited Ohio legislator and Marine reserve colonel Danny Bubp, whom she claimed told her "to send Congressman Murtha a message: that cowards cut and run, Marines never do." Sadly for Schmidt, Bubp had said no such thing.  In response, Schmidt, the Angry One notes, did what comes naturally - play dumb.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bob Woodward (November 2005)
The Avenging Angel confirmed this week that famed Watergate reporter Bob Woodward has sold his soul to the devil.  First, Woodward penned two Bush hagiographies in exchange for exclusive access to the White House. Now it it turns out that Woodward, who on October 27th dismissed the CIA  leak case as "gossip" and chided Patrick Fitzgerald as a "bull-dog", himself was told of Valerie Plame's identity in June 2003, a month before her outing by Bob Novak.  For this violation, the Angry One fumes, Woodward has reserved himself a warm seat in Dante's Inner Circle... next to Richard Nixon.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Kenneth Tomlinson (November 2005)
The Avenging Angel bitch-slapped Kenneth Tomlinson this week for his conservative makeover of PBS.  Tomlinson, who attacked the supposed liberal bias of PBS, was forced to resign from the board of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting in advance of a devastating report from CPB's inspector general. The report alleges that Tomlinson violated ethical rules if not the law itself in his recruiting of staff and consultants.  Score one for Big Bird.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Brit Hume (October 2005)
As the mother of the civil rights movement Rosa Parks lay in state in the Capitol rotunda, the Fox anchor played the role of Bull Connor.  On Sunday, Hume attacked African-American Fox analyst Juan Williams for his views on the indictment of Cheney chief of staff Scooter Libby, "Juan, somebody needs to hose you down." Was Hume's an ugly racial slur?  We report, the Avenging Angel notes, you decide.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Scooter Libby (October 2005)
Vice President's chief of staff was indicted on five counts this week for his role in the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame.  Rather than bringing "honor and dignity" to the White House, the senior administration aide jeopardized national security in the name of political payback and maintaining the fictional Bush reasons for war in Iraq.  With a name like Scooter, the Angel notes, Libby should make fast friends in prison.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Harriet Miers (October 2005)
Much as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the withdrawal of Harriet Miers was both natural and predictable.  First came word that the Bush  bathwater drinker praised him in 1997 as the "best governor ever."  Then came word that Miers' firm raked in $163,000 in legal fees from Governor Dubya's reelection campaign. And now we learn that she pocketed over $100,000 in a sweetheart land deal.  Sadly for President Bush, what matters is not what is in her heart, but in her head.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Louis Beres (October 2005)
The former head of the Christian Coalition in Oregon and one-time chairman of the Multnomah County Republican Party is, according to his own children, a child molester. Beres, whose organization claimed to be "defending Oregon's godly heritage", had previously denied the claims. Compassionate conservativism, the Angel fumes, apparently begins at home.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill Bennett (October 2005)
The values huckster is in hot water after adding fantasies of black eugenics to his gambling addiction.  On his radio show, Bennett laid crime in the United States at the feet of African-Americans, a social ill he said in theory could be easily addressed by the abortion of all black babies.  A gaffe, the Angry One notes, is when a politician accidentally tells the truth.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill O'Reilly (October 2005)
Falafel fetishist O'Reilly joined Bill Bennett in showing his true colors.  On an October 4th segment of his radio show, O'Reilly equated his Irish ancestors with African slaves who  "had to leave Africa and come over on a boat and try to make in the New World with nothing." Apparently, the Angel notes, O'Reilly is trying to rewrite the past and present.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tom Delay (September 2005)
The existence of God was confirmed this week with the  indictment of Tom Delay. The Hammer, the man who promised to bring a "biblical worldview" to government, now faces the wrath of  Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle for TRMPAC's illegal use of corporate contributions. Joining a Texas chain gang is a fitting end, the Angel notes, for the man who compared himself to Jesus.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bill Frist (September 2005)
Doctor Frist was bitch-slapped by the Angel for the second time this year.  He finds himself under the SEC's microscope for insider trading allegations involving stock in his supposed blind trust from health care giant (and Medicare fraud experts) HCA. Frist, the Angry One notes, was wrong on two counts: Terri Schiavo was blind; his trust was not.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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David Safavian (September 2005)
In the first but hopefully not last perp walk of this White House, top Bush administration procurement official David Safavian was arrested for lying and obstructing a criminal investigation. It turns out that Safavian, the Michael Brown of OMB, lied about his role in a golf outing to Scotland with GOP uber lobbyist and Tom Delay pal Jack Abramoff, for whom he arranged a sweetheart land deal.  Previously, he had worked with Abramoff and Grover Norquist.  As the Avenging Angel notes, "justice Delay'd is justice denied."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Michael Brown (September 2005)
The Avenging Angel has declared the end is nigh for Brown for his shocking incompetence in the Katrina calamity. The FEMA head, who previously headed an Arabian horse association, also lied about his resume.  Until his resignation, he had continued to stay on the job, the Angry One notes, because he had the one qualification that really mattered to the President Bush: "Brownie" delivered Florida for Bush in 2004.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Condoleezza Rice (September 2005)
The Secretary of State once again invoked the wrath of the Avenging Angel. While the Gulf States lay devastated and thousands trapped in New Orleans, Rice caught a play in New York and went shopping for shoes.  She even had security remove a fellow shoe shopper for complaining about it.  Perhaps Bush's Imelda did not get the memo, "Katrina  Determined to Strike in U.S."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Pat Robertson (August 2005)
The one-time presidential candidate and full-time American Taliban storm trooper was rightly crucified this week for calling for the assassination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.  No matter that killing heads of state is frowned upon by both the Bible and American law.  This is the same man who prayed for the deaths of Supreme Court justices and joined Jerry Falwell in blaming 9/11 on gays, lesbians and the ACLU, among others. Somewhere Jesus, the Avenging Angel notes, must be thinking, "bad dog, no biscuit."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ohio Governor Bob Taft (August 2005)
The Angry One continues to enjoy the ongoing implosion of the GOP in Ohio.  Buckeye state Republicans, already reeling from the CoinGate scandal involving Bush "pioneer Thomas Noe, saw the governor nailed on four ethic charges. Corruption, greed and cronyism...sounds like Bob Taft, like his grandfather before him, truly is Mr. Republican.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Arnold Schwarzenegger (August 2005)
The man Enron made governor of California was bitch-slapped by the Avenging Angel this week. Arnold, who was already less popular than Joseph Goebbels at the B'nai Brith, added more girl trouble to his woes. The same American Media group which paid him $8 million as an "advisor" gave Gigi Goyette $20k to bury the story about their affair dating back to her Sweet 16. Soon, California voters get to play the role of Terminator.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Scott McClellan (July 2005)
McClellan, the idiot non-savant in the White House press office, suffered a severe smiting this week for his lies in Karl Rove's outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. For two days, the usually docile press corps beat Scott like a rented mule over his bogus 2003 claims that the allegations against Rove were "ridiculous" and that the President "knows" Rove was not involved.  Mercifully for McClellan, his problems can only get worse if rumors of a bizarre love triangle with Rove and Jeff Gannon turn out to be true.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Senator Bill Frist (June 2005)
Doctor Frist got his comeuppance this week for his witness malpractice in the Schiavo tragedy. Mr. Tort Reform himself had proclaimed on the floor of the Senate that based on video footage, Schiavo was not in a persistent vegetative state and that "she certainly seems to respond to visual stimuli." The autopsy showed otherwise, as Schiavo suffered massive brain damage and total blindness.  Perhaps it's time, the Angry One scoffs, for Dr. Frist to his previous practice of dissecting cats for fun and frolic.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Spokane Mayor Jim West (May 2005)
West, yet another Republican closeted crusader, got a three-star smiting from the Avenging Angel this week.  West, the Spokane mayor and anti-gay firebrand, admitted to relationships with men, cruising gay web sites, and offering an internship to a Spokesman-Review investigator posing as an online chat partner. The Angel could only laugh as another Republican failed the GOP Boy Scout Test.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Senator John Cornyn (April 2005)
The staunch foe of man-turtle love joined fellow Texan Tom Delay in endorsing violence against state and federal judges this week. Cornyn had been best known as one of the Senate's Bestiality Boys, along with his partner, anti-canine consortium zealot Rick Santorum. In the wake of the GOP's Schiavo implosion, Cornyn made a firm stand against protecting innocent judicial life. For this latest outrage, the Angel has a particularly warm seat reserved for Cornyn in Dante's inner circle.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Governor Jeb Bush (March 2005)
Dubya's brother drew the ire of the Avenging Angel for his role in the Schiavo tragedy. Prostituting himself to his party's radical right, Jeb brought Florida to the brink of crisis by directing state agents to remove Terri Schiavo from her hospice.  Only the resolve of local police to enforce the law stopped Jeb's Pinellas Park Putsch.  For his disrespect of the law and individual liberties, Jeb Bush now is under thw watchful eye of the Angry One.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Senator Bill Frist (March 2005)
The Senate Majority Leader showed this week why he's ranked #4 on the Avenging Angel's Top 10 List. Mr. Tort Reform committed witness malpractice this week by weighing in on the Terri Schiavo case. Frist, who is neither a neurologist nor informed by actually examining his patient, concluded that Shiavo is not in a "persistent vegetative state" after "an hour or so" of viewing the video footage. For abusing his Hippocratic Oath and flouting his credentials, First can expect punitive damages from the Angry One.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Congressman Sam Johnson (February 2005)
The Avenging Angel awards the 2005 Ronald Reagan Award for Achievement in the Area of Foreign Policy to Texas Republican Sam Johnson. Johnson recently told a church group that "Syria is the problem. Syria is where those weapons of mass destruction are, in my view. You know, I can fly an F-15, put two nukes on ’em and I’ll make one pass. We won’t have to worry about Syria anymore." As the Gipper himself would say, "we begin bombing in five minutes."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Jeff Gannon/J.D. Guckert (February 2005)
The Avenging Angel celebrated his first 5-star smiting with the exposure of Talon News Service and its "reporter" Jeff Gannon (nee J.D. Guckert) as a conservative front. Thanks to the work of AmericaBlog, DailyKos, Atrios, Media Matters and many more, White House press secretary Scott McClellan's pet reporter and Bush softball-thrower Jeff Gannon was exposed as a fraud doing the dirty work for GOPUSA. The Angel notes with satisfaction that future presidential historians will remember Gannon as "Bush's Man Date."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Paul Bremer (January 2005)
Our former man in Baghdad once again showed the Bush team's credo of "nothing succeeds like failure."  A special U.S. inspector general concluded that Bremer's CPA was unable to keep track of nearly $9 billion it transferred to Iraqi government ministries. This is only the latest black eye for Bremer, who disbanded the Iraqi army while refusing to press Bush for the extra U.S. troops he knew were needed. The Angry One notes Bush already gave Bremer the Medal of Freedom. After this fiasco, look for Bremer on Mount Rushmore.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Armstrong Williams (January 2005)
The conservative commentator and columnist was outed as a paid appendage of the Bush administration by USA Today. The Avenging Angel smiled at William's total implosion, but seeks "the others" on W's payroll.  A low point in the history of good government in the United States, this dark episode will no doubt be surpassed in Bush's second term.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Bernard Kerik (December 2004)
The former New York police commissioner and Bush Homeland Security nominee saw his 15 minutes of fame come to a screeching halt this week.  From nanny problems, affairs and Korean bastard love children to questionable stock deals, conflicts of interest, and possible mob ties, the ethically-challenged Kerik makes Tom Delay look like Mother Theresa.  The man who was W's attack dog and Rudy's bitch will now hopefully disappear from sight.  A pleased Avenging Angel recommends a cave in Waziristan.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tom Delay (October 2004)
The Avenging Angel has finally begun the process of smiting #6 on the "Top 10 Unpunished Transgressors List."  Delay, the once and future bug killer from Texas, was rebuked by the House Ethics Committee twice in one week, an impressive feat even among the Republicans. Nailed for using FAA employees to track Texas Democratic legislators and for buying votes on the Medicare reform bill, Delay has also had three of staffers indicted for laundering corporate contributions through his PAC.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ken Lay (July 2004)
The Avenging Angel - and the Feds - has called upon the one-time Chairman of Enron to play a role in the downfall of his bag carrier, George W. Bush.  His sins are so numerous and severe (defrauding Enron  investors and employees, destroying the California energy market, putting cronies in place at the SEC and FERC, giving W over $500,000 in contributions and another $300,000 for his inauguration) as to prevent listing them all here.  If he ends up in a  prison cell, Grandma Millie's revenge will be complete.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rush Limbaugh (June 2004)
Limbaugh's highly public and highly entertaining moral degradation continues.  Over the past nine months, the right-wing blow hard has been sacked by ESPN, was revealed to be a pill-popping junkie, and now beats Newt Gingrich as a serial divorcee.  Given his past comments on marriage and divorce, Rush has surpassed Bill Bennett ("The Bookie of Virtue") in the Conservative Hypocrisy Hall of Fame.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Condoleezza Rice (April 2004, January 2005)
The Avenging Angel was not pleased by the National Security Advisor's handling of the 9/11 commission testimony and her attacks on Richard Clarke. Her "principled" refusal to testify publicly while viciously attacking Clarke on TV and in print means her return to academia can't come soon enough.  The Angel comes a calling on April 8.  Update: Rice's cavalcade of failures is not enough to dissuade the Senate Foreign Relations committee from approving her nomination as Secretary of State.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Rod Paige (February 2004)
The Secretary of Education referred to the 2.7 million member National Education Association (NEA), as a "terrorist organization." This is only his latest embarrassment, with the fraud regarding graduation rates in his home district of Houston hit 60 Minutes getting added to his being left behind in shaping "No Child Left Behind."  As the Avenging Angel noted, there is no point in Bush firing him; no one notices that he's there anyway.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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David Kay (January 2004)
He who so confidently this summer predicted the existence of weapons of mass destruction (WMD) resigned from his post of chief Iraqi weapons inspector. He now says there probably were no such weapons. The Avenging Angel is not finished with him, however; Kay blames the intelligence agencies for this turn of events, rather than the obvious Bush administration duplicity. Their pain is our gain.

 

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Martha Stewart (March 2004)
Martha Inc. has taken a huge hit over the ImClone insider trading scandal. As for Martha herself, only the Angel knows how she'll handle life in prison without designer sheets and her signature K-Mart shower curtain.

 

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Strom Thurmond (posthumous, December, 2003)
The December revelation by Essie Mae Washington-Williams that she was the illegitimate black daughter of Strom Thurmond only served to add words like "hypocrite", "coward" and possibly "rapist" to "legendary racist" on his epitaph. Her grace and respect for discretion contrasted starkly with a man who was, as Jon Stewart noted on the Daily Show, a "douche bag." The master of plantation politics escaped full retribution: the Avenging Angel notes that this would have been a five-angel humiliation back in 1948.

 

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Rush Limbaugh (November, 2003)
His disgrace over the Donovan McNabb episode was appropriate. The revelations that he was a drug addict hooked on painkillers were sweeter still. Several years sharing a cell with a large, angry, gay cellmate would really resemble justice for this blow hard.

 

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Darryl Issa (August, 2003)
The mastermind of the recall of Gray Davis in California, this car thief turned car security magnate publicly cried like a little girl upon the realization that Arnold Schwarzenegger, and not he, would be the next governor of California.

 

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Rick Santorum (April 2003)
One of the leading pro-life goose steppers in the Senate, Santorum's "man on dog" comments following the Supreme Court decision overturning Texas sodomy laws led to guffaws worldwide, and not just among gay and animal rights advocates.

 

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Trent Lott (January 2003, June 2004)
Never punished for his hairstyle, the Senate majority leader rightly lost his post for his birthday praise for Strom Thurmond (see "master of plantation politics", above.) The Angel grew angry as Lott celebrated Thurmond's century of racism, angrier still as he claimed that the country would have been better off if Thurmond had won the White House in 1948. The Angel visited Lott once again over his mind-bending comments about the Abu Ghraib scandal.  In Lott's worldview, it would seem, good guys wear white hoods, bad guys wear black.

 

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Bill Bennett (May, 2003)
The self-appointed morality czar got his comeuppance with the public disclosure that his gambling had cost him millions. As Joshua Green wrote in the Washington Monthly, the "Bookie of Virtue" showed conservative hypocrisy at its best. The Avenging Angel loves irony.

 

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Newt Gingrich (January 1999)
Another leader of conservative hypocrisy, Gingrich's punishment over the GOPAC controversy and his failure in the 1998 mid-term elections was not sufficient. The Angel did not smile as his serial philandering came to light. First, Newt told his then wife, sick with cancer, that he was divorcing her. Later, he admitted having an affair with a much younger congressional aide, trashing yet another marriage. Apparently, he was not the author of the "Marital Contract for America."

 

Top 10 Unpunished Transgressors List

 

Here is America's Most Wanted, the incredibly guilty whose crimes against the United States and right-thinking people everywhere are self-evident. Just to recap:

  1. George W. Bush. The President is the darkest figure to blight the American scene since Richard Nixon. His Opt Out Society program, policies of upward income redistribution, Talibanesque social views, and unsurpassed hypocrisy make him an obvious #1. (His only saving grace: his presidency demonstrates incarnate the tolerance of an American society willing to elevate the developmentally disabled to the pinnacle of national power.) Harken, cocaine, DWI, faux WMD and his National Gurad fraud have not been enough to derail the Dark Prince of Midland; the intervention of AA (that's the Avenging Angel, not Alcoholics Anonymous) is badly needed.
  2. Dick Cheney. The dark force behind the Dauphin president, his comeuppance is long overdue. He has stonewalled on the details behind the energy plan.  He has survived two scares with Halliburton in three months. His comments on the Rush Limbaugh show regarding Richard Clarke were outrageous and diminished his office. The clock is ticking.
  3. Karl Rove. The creator of "the Uniter, Not Divider", Rove has been W's Goebbels figure going back to his 1994 run for governor. He has escaped the Valerie Plame CIA outing and conflict of interest with Intel so far; hopefully, he will be not be so lucky in the future. Updated on June 23, 2005: The Angel is preparing the Rack for Rove following his disgusting comments about liberals putting American troops in danger.
  4. Bill Frist. The Senator from Tennessee, who took over both Trent Lott's Senate majority leadership and his hair, has joined the rankings for his role in the privatization of Medicare. Given the history of Medicare fraud by the HCA company founded by his family, a visit from the Avenging Angel seemed inevitable.  With his vicious assault on Richard Clarke from the Senate floor, the Angel's visit can't come soon enough.
  5. Alberto Gonzales. From the NSA domestic spying scandal and the Abu Ghraib torture horror to suppressing black voter turnout in Georgia and delaying White House action on PlameGate documents, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has emerged as one of the key architects and mouthpieces of the Bush assault on the Constitution and American civil liberties. The Angel's retribution for the one-time White House counsel and full-time Bush bathwater drinker will not be, to quote, Gonzales, "quaint."
  6. Tom Delay. The ethically challenged House majority leader jumps up in the Angel's rankings for his grotesque comparison of the Sandy Berger national archives episode to the Watergate break-in.  After all, he should know about "third-rate burglary", as his shakedown of Enron and violations of Texas campaign laws show.  The architect of the unprecedented Texas congressional redistricting, this one-time pest exterminator also called the EPA "the Gestapo of government", and stated that his  political mission is to bring a "biblical worldview" to government. 
  7. Antonin Scalia. His massive intellect, shocking arrogance and utter disregard for judicial ethics make him particularly dangerous. His role in Bush v. Gore, ongoing defense of states' rights and religious extremism in public institutions, and fraternization with Dick Cheney in the midst of the energy task force deliberations all ensure a date with the Avenging Angel.
  8. Paul Wolfowitz. Wolfowitz is the leading intellectual proponent of the American "unilateral moment" and the transformative potential of American power for democracy in the Middle East. His fantastical, almost hallucinatory vision for the region has left us with a smoldering morass in Iraq and without our post WWII network of alliances.
  9. Grover Norquist. Perhaps the Angel's most egregious oversight, Norquist enters the list at #9. One of the godfathers of today's conservative mafia, Norquist is the anti-tax fanatic who brought you TABOR (the Taxpayer Bill of Rights), the K Street Project and making government small enough to "drown it in the bathtub."  The Angry One enjoyed this uber-fiend's Abramoff woes and recent attacks on John McCain; even conservatives frown on cannibalizing their own kind.
  10. Richard Mellon Scaife. Scaife is one of the key moneymen behind a host of evil right-wing causes, including the Federalist Society, the American Spectator, and a gamut of conservative think tanks and foundations. His critical role in the "Arkansas Operation" to destroy Bill Clinton should ensure that punishment from the Avenging Angel will be particularly thorough.

Other Evil Doers Being Monitored

The men and women listed below badly need to feel the sting of the lash upon their shoulders. Like many in the Iraqi card deck, they are just lower priorities for the Avenging Angel.

  • David Horowitz.  The Angel has had enough of Horowitz, the 60's radical turned goose-stepping conservative.  His new book, "The Professors," is just the latest installment in his war against perceived left-leaning faculty.  For his Academic Bill of Rights, which would bring a hybrid of George Orwell and the Spanish Inquisition to American college campuses, Horowitz has earned the wrath of the Angry One.
  • Colin Powell.  The Avenging Angel grew angry this week with the latest act of political cowardice from Colin Powell.  The former Secretary of State, whose sad legacy is his Iraq war salesmanship and the wobbly "Powell Doctrine", tried to have it both ways on President Bush's illegal domestic surveillance program.  Powell, who opposed the 1991 Gulf War he won, saw "nothing wrong" with Bush's actions, even though "it didn't seem to me, anyway, that it would have been that hard to go get the warrants." Powell, the Angry One fumes, never met a fence he couldn't sit on.
  • Ken Mehlman.  The RNC chairman invited a hellstorm of vengeance from the Angel this week for his chutzpah in the defense of Karl Rove.  Mehlman continued his smear campaign against Joe Wilson even as the damning evidence builds against the Bush White House.  Mehlman did his best Louis Farrakhan imitation, pitifully claiming that breaking news "exonerates and vindicates, not implicates" Rove. Denial, the Angry One notes to one of the GOP's few Red Sea pedestrians, is not a river in Egypt.
  • James Baker III.  Bumped by Grover Norquist from the Avenging Angel's Top 10, The Bush family fixer in business and politics, he has saved the hide of both Bush the Elder and W. His "f**k the Jews" comment and the 2000 Florida recount hijinx are just the tip of the iceberg.
  • George Allen.  The Virginia Senator enraged Avenging Angel this week with his cynical racial politics. Allen. a 2008 GOP presidential hopeful, is sponsoring a resolution offering an apology for past Senate obstruction of anti-lynching laws.  Allen's dual purpose? First, to atone for the Confederates in his own attic, including his past display of a noose and the Stars and Bars at his own home. Second, to tar Democrats as the party of the filibuster against civil rights then and judicial nominees now.  Allen's so-called apology, the Angel notes, is like Bill Frist opening a cat shelter.
  • Rick Perry.  The Texas governor faces swift, severe and certain retribution from the Angry One for his one-man attack on the wall between church and state this week.  Using the evangelical Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Worth as a backdrop, Perry signed a new, more restrictive parental consent abortion law and inked a symbolic resolution banning same-sex marriage. Texas, the Angel  notes, not only allows the execution of the developmentally disabled, it likes them as governor as well.
  • Ben Stein.  The erstwhile game show host and full-time Nixon apologist enraged the Avenging Angel with his grotesque comments following the revelation of the identity of Watergate's Deep Throat. Stein, who wept like a baby when recalling his boss' resignation, attacked Mark Felt and defended Nixon's legacy as a peacemaker. "He was not a lying, conniving drug addict like JFK, a lying, conniving war starter like LBJ, a lying, conniving seducer like Clinton." For remarks like that, and for blaming the Cambodian genocide not on Nixon's illegal invasion but on his unjustified removal from office, Stein has earned a very warm seat in Dante's Inner Circle.
  • Bobby Bowden.  The Angel grew angry with the news this week that the Florida State football coach endorsed bringing Jesus into the locker room. Supporting Air Force Academy coach Fisher Deberry's crusade to extend that school's sordid record of evangelical proselytizing to his team, Bowden stated, "I want my boys to be saved...The problem with us Christians is we won't speak out."  The Angel reports that he can't wait til the Florida game.
  • Father Frank Pavone.  Pavone assured himself visits from the Avenging Angel in this life and the next for his role in the judicial filbuster imbroglio.  Pavone, head of Priests for Life and Schiavo family media parasite, attacked Senator John McCain for "trying to prevent godly men and women" from serving on the nation's courts. The Angel suggests that Pavone, whose web site offers a prayer for judges, follow Tom Delay's advice to "spend less time on our soapboxes and more time on our knees."
  • Scott McClellan.  The Angry One lost all patience with White House spokesman and idiot non-savant in the aftermath of Bush's April 28 press conference.  A nation watched McClellan's spastic dissembling and assault on his mother tongue in awe as he tried to explain why Bush's $3 trillion Social Security benefit cuts are not cuts.  As the Angel  notes, perhaps the only thing more effective for the Republicans than having Chauncey Gardner as President of the United States is having him as press secretary.
  • Tony Perkins.  Perkins, the head of the Family Research Council and charter member of the American Taliban, has angered the Avenging Angel for his role in the judicial filibuster fight. Perkins, who enjoys referring to the "homosexual death-style", is co-hosting "Justice Sunday" to protest the filibuster as an attack "against people of faith." Not one for irony, the Angel notes the same crackers who once filibustered against anti-lynching legislation now run the country under the auspices of the GOP.
  • Jesse Jackson.  The Avenging Angel viewed with disdain Jackson's role in the Schiavo affair.  With his embrace of anti-abortion zealot Randall Terry, Jackson's journey from "Hymie Town" to the political wilderness is complete. A cynical Angel notes that "where cameras persist, he must exist."
  • John Ashcroft.  The former Attorney General's sins are so numerous as to prevent doing them proper justice here. From the excesses of the Patriot Act and DOJ prayer sessions to covering a bare-breasted statue and artful draft dodging, Ashcroft can expect multiple visits from the Avenging Angel; punishment will no doubt be severe and frequent.  And he only sinned further in front of the 9/11 commission.
  • Sean Hannity.  Fox's uber-pundit can expect severe penance from the Avenging Angel.  Hannity's Goebbels-lite, frothing-at-the-mouth TV and radio shows offer a consistent menu of distortions, deceptions and rage for his rabid right wing audience that even MSNBC goose-stepper Joe Scarborough labeled "reading off" RNC talking points. Hannity, ever the man of the people, cancelled a campus appearance because they would provide his preferred private jet.  He was, however, happy to shill for Republican candidates.
  • Andrew Natsios.  The USAID chief used the Asian tsunami, perhaps the greatest natural disaster in memory, to attack critics of American foreign aid and trumpet the Bush administration. As we've noted, his PR blitz of press conferences, appearances on Fox, and out-of-context numbers  is in bad taste and makes for even worse global relations for the U.S. With tens of thousands already dead and more at risk, the Avenging Angel reminds Natsios not to mess with Mother Nature.
  • James Dobson.  The head of Focus on the Family, Dobson has created a global empire in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Heading a group whose radio programs reach 7 million Americans each week and are broadcast in 115 nations, Dobson may now be the leading crossover politico-religious figure in the country. In the immediate aftermath of Bush’s reelection and the GOP tidal wave in Congress, Dobson threw his weight around,  labeling Vermont Senator Pat Leahy a “God's people hater.”  The Avenging Angel has a warning for Dobson, the author of Dare to Discipline: it is better to give than receive.
  • Barbara Bush.  Bush the Elder reports that his wife is "steamed" about the attacks on her son during the election campaign.  Perhaps Babs, the one-time first lady and star of Fox's upcoming reality show "When the Idle Rich Attack", might recall her kind words in 1984 for Bush 41's VP opponent Geraldine Ferraro: "I can’t say it, but it rhymes with rich." The Avenging Angel notes that Millie clearly wasn't the only bitch in the Bush household.
  • Henry Hyde.  Like George Bush, who "did irresponsible things when I was young and irresponsible", Hyde had his own "youthful indiscretions."  Now, an aging Hyde again paralleled Bush's duplicity with his conflation of 9/11 and the war in Iraq during recent House debates, stating that "there is a direct connection between the war in Iraq and the bombing of Sept. 11." The 9/11 Commission, of course, concluded otherwise. The Angel is already planning a pig roast in hell.
  • John McCain.  One of the saddest - and most disappointing - spectacles of the 2004 election has been John McCain's descent into pure political opportunism. Gone is McCain's obvious disdain for President Bush, swept under the rug in pursuit of the GOP establishment's support for his own presidential bid in 2008.  Senator McCain may have chosen the path of selective amnesia regarding Bush's vicious assault on him four years ago, but we don't have to. We remember that the Bush campaign labeled him anti-Catholic during the 2000 campaign. Bush allies smeared his behavior while in captivity in Hanoi. Bush operatives also used push-polls to tell South Carolina voters that McCain had adopted a black baby. And that's just the start.  Apparently, the only thing John McCain hates more than George Bush is the thought of not being president himself in 2008. And for that, he has made quite the Faustian bargain indeed.
  • Bob Dole.  The war hero turned senator turned Viagra shill turned CNN analyst draws the Angel's attention for his outrageous attacks on John Kerry's Vietnam heroism and "superficial wounds."  The man who spoke of "Democrat wars" and told Bush the Elder to "stop lying about my record" apparently has decided to spend his twilight years supporting dysfunctional phalluses of all kinds.
  • Lewis "Scooter" Libby.  According to Daily Kos and a host of other sources, it looks like Cheney hatchet man and chief of staff Libby may be the at the center of the Valerie Plame CIA outing investigation.  If the anticipated indictment comes, the Avenging Angel awaits...
  • Katherine Harris.  The Avenging Angel promises swift and severe retribution for the wicked witch of West Palm.  With her blatant misrepresentation of terrorist threat information, the newbie Congresswoman has perhaps done the impossible: she has exceeded her cynical partisan role in the election theft in Florida in 2000.
  • Tom Ridge.  The Homeland Security chief moved from the ranks of the merely ineffectual to obvious political hack with the latest terror alert.  On Sunday, August 1st, Ridge noted that" we must understand that the kind of information available to us today is the result of the President’s leadership in the war against terror."  Two days later, he then claimed that "we don't do politics in the Department of Homeland Security."
  • Mitt Romney Utah's first governor of Massachusetts joins the Angel's watch list for his perpetual 2008 presidential run.  His cynical grandstanding on same-sex marriage, his new book, and his perfect hair show the race is underway.
  • Ted Olson.  Like Baker, our Solicitor General distinguished himself in the 2000 recount and Bush v Gore. Like Scaife, he is one of the key players behind the Federalist Society's increasingly successful effort to the Federal judiciary into an adjunct of the GOP. Revenge will be sweet.
  • Dennis Miller.  Once a merely arrogant stand-up comic, this one-Miller has reemerged as a Bush bootlicker and pay-for-play conservative stooge.  On his soon-to-be-cancelled show, he recently commented that Richard Clarke cried "like a woman scorned." The Angel will consign him to the dustbin of history.
  • Karen Hughes. Bush's own "Baghdad Bob" returns to the campaign with a new book and to communicate her alternate version of reality.  To Hughes, Bush's initial opposition the 9/11 commission, his refusal to testify, his refusal to extend the panel's schedule, his refusal to let Rice testify, his withholding of Clinton administration papers all equates to "the president has fully cooperated with this commission in an unprecedented way." The Angel notes that she is far more than "ten minutes from normal."
  • William Kristol. One of the chief strategists and messengers of the neocon onslaught, Kristol originally achieved evil doer status with his subterfuge of the Clinton health care plan.  His comment on April 4, 2004 on FOX, however, that the 9/11 families committed "moral blackmail" against Condi Rice assures him a particularly warm seat in Dante's inner circle.
  • Robert Novak. The co-host of CNN's Crossfire and long-time conservative shill, Novak has aroused the righteous indignation of the Angel.  First, he revealed the identity of CIA agent Valerie Plame, the wife of Bush enemy Joseph Wilson. Then, he sought to defend Condi Rice by asking Rep. Rahm Emanuel if "Dick Clarke has a problem with this African-American woman Condoleezza Rice."  The Angel reports that punishment will precise, overwhelming, and at a time of his choosing.
  • Tommy Thompson. The Angel has a prescription for the HHS Secretary due to his role in the multiple deceptions surrounding the Medicare reforms. For his shameless Medicare ads, faux news stories and his cover-up of the bogus budget numbers, Thompson's comeuppance is imminent.
  • Zell Miller. The Avenging Angel does not look kindly upon traitors like the senator from Georgia and Bush fellow traveler. The leader of "Democrats for Bush" follows in the proud tradition of "Shi'ites for Saddam" and "Kosovars for Milosevic."
  • Norm Coleman. The Avenging Angel promises severe retribution for the Senator from Minnesota.  His disgraceful manipulation of the Paul Wellstone memorial and his boast of being "99% better" than the late people's champion virtually guarantees a much-deserved downfall for this opportunist and non-entity.
  • Donald Rumsfeld. The arrogant ("old Europe") and dissembling ("I never said imminent threat...") Secretary of Defense is due for a public humbling of staggering proportions.
  • Alan Greenspan. The hagiography is over for the Fed Chairman, who was exposed as a partisan shill with his 2001 praise for the Bush tax cut.
  • Tom Delay. The architect of the outrageous Texas congressional redistricting, his political mission "is to bring us back to the Constitution and to Absolute Truth that has been manipulated and destroyed by a liberal worldview."  The Avenging Angel awaits him.
  • Saxby Chambliss. The junior Senator from Georgia won his seat in 2002 by questioning the patriotism of Max Cleland, an American war hero who lost three limbs in Vietnam. He will be smited for this outrage.
  • Ken Starr. His role in the Clinton impeachment did not go unnoticed by the Angel.
  • William Rehnquist. The Chief Justice, a Nixon appointee, uniquely combines feeble legal reasoning with partisanship from the bench. Like Scalia, he faces the wrath of the Angry One.
  • Peggy Noonan. Her speeches made the addled Reagan sound profound ("touch the face of God"). Now just another right wing talking head.
  • Bill O'Reilly. Al Franken has actually already done a good job tenderizing the number one oaf at FOX.
  • Ann Coulter. She's loud, arrogant, and totally wrong on virtually every issue. Despite her own belief to the contrary, she is also fundamentally not attractive to men.
  • Laura Ingraham. She, like Coulter, is one of the interchangeable angry, blond, conservative hate merchants. Only her hairdresser knows for sure.
  • David Frum. The inventor of "Axis of Evil", a single phrase that helped undo 50 years of post-war American foreign policy.
  • Richard Perle. Ever the malign influence on American foreign policy.
  • Daniel Pipes. From Cold Warrior to Crusader, his dark worldview is dangerous to friend and foe alike.
  • Ralph Reed. He built the Christian Coalition into an awesome political force for reaction. If only the rumors of a gay, three-way tryst with Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson were true.
  • Jerry Falwell. A force behind the Moral Majority and Christian Coalition, his post 9/11 comments did not please the Avenging Angel. If only the rumors of a gay, three-way tryst with Ralph Reed and Pat Robertson were true.
  • Pat Robertson. See Ralph Reed, Jerry Falwell, above. If only rumors of a gay, three-way tryst were (a) true and (b) hit during his 1988 presidential bid.
  • Brit Hume. Fair and balanced, my ass. How he got to be one of the moderators of the January 22, 2004 New Hampshire Democratic debate is beyond me.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger. The beneficiary of the Davis recall in California, the only things he can grasp are women's body parts.
  • Oliver North. This luckiest of all Iran-Contra conspirators should be in prison, not on television. As with the President, the Avenging Angel does not warm to those who smirk.
  • G. Gordon Liddy. This luckiest of all Watergate conspirators went to prison and should not be on television or radio.

 

Submit Your Own Candidate!

 

When it comes to the vast right-wing conspiracy, there are more perpetrators than time, space and decorum permit here. Use the Perrspectives feedback form to nominate your own candidates for the Avenging Angel list. The suitably guilty will be added to the list of Evil Doers, with kudos to contributors from a grateful public.

Submit your conservative villain sorely in need of divine justice now!


About

Jon Perr
Jon Perr is a technology marketing consultant and product strategist who writes about American politics and public policy.

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