Attorney General Alberto Gonzales may have his announced his resignation, but his wrongdoing - and his words - live on. Alternately comically feeble and hilariously ham-handed, Gonzales' pathetic attempts to deceive, dissemble and literally forget his way out of the U.S. attorneys scandal, the NSA domestic surveillance imbroglio, the White House war on habeas corpus and even the outing of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame approached Bush-level rhetorical incontinence.
Here, then, are the greatest hits of Alberto Gonzales:
"Mr. Comey's testimony related to a highly classified program which the president confirmed to the American people sometime ago."
Alberto Gonzales, on revelations by Comey on March 2004 confrontation with Gonzales at John Ashcroft's bedside regarding illegal NSA domestic surveillance, June 5, 2007.
There has not been any serious disagreement about the program that the president has confirmed."
Alberto Gonzales, February 6, 2006.
"I intend to spend the next year and a half in a sprint to the finish line."
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, facing imminent no-confidence vote, June 1, 2007.
"Being able to go and having a very candid conversation and telling the president: 'Mr. President, this cannot be done. You can't do this,' - I think you want that."
Alberto Gonzales, May 19, 2007.
"No."
Alberto Gonzales, asked to share an example of a time he told President Bush "you can't do this," May 19, 2007.
"I wouldn't characterize those as top aides."
Alberto Gonzales, regarding chief-of-staff Kyle Sampson and White House liaison Monica Goodling, May 15, 2007.
"At the end of the day, the recommendations reflected the views of the deputy attorney general. He signed off on the names."
Alberto Gonzales, following the resignation of Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty, May 15, 2007.
"The one person I would care about would be the views of the deputy attorney general, because the deputy attorney general is the direct supervisor of the United States attorneys."
Alberto Gonzales, following the resignation of Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty, May 15, 2007.
"Looking back, things that I would have done differently? I think I would have had the deputy attorney general more involved, directly involved."
Alberto Gonzales, testifying to the Senate Judiciary Committee, April 19, 2007.
"[Y]ou're asking me a question I hadn't really thought about."
Alberto Gonzales, asked if any U.S. citizens were being denied their habeas corpus rights, May 10, 2007.
"There is no express grant of habeas in the Constitution."
Alberto Gonzales, January 19, 2007.
"I think I may be aware of that."
Alberto Gonzales, May 10, 2007.
"My feelings and recollections about this matter have not changed."
Alberto Gonzales, testifying before the House Judiciary Committee on his purge of U.S. prosecutors, May 10, 2007.
"The moment I believe I can no longer be effective, I will resign."
Alberto Gonzales, April 19, 2007.
"I now understand that there was a conversation between myself and the president."
Alberto Gonzales, April 19, 2007.
"Senator, that I don't recall remembering."
Alberto Gonzales, April 19, 2007.
"I recall making the decision. I don't recall when the decision was made."
Alberto Gonzales, April 19, 2007.
"I don't recall being involved in deliberations involving the question of whether or not a U.S. attorney should or should not be asked to resign."
Alberto Gonzales, March 30, 2007.
"I'm not going to resign. I'm going to stay focused on protecting our kids."
Alberto Gonzales, March 22, 2007.
"People have to believe in what we say."
Alberto Gonzales, March 9, 2007.
"I hope that this episode ultimately will be recognized for what it is: an overblown personnel matter."
Alberto Gonzales, March 7, 2007.
"I would never ever make a change in a United States attorney position for political reasons or that in any way would jeopardize an ongoing investigation."
Alberto Gonzales, January 18, 2007.
"I think that the American people lose if I spend all my time worrying about congressional requests for information, if I spend all my time responding to subpoenas."
Alberto Gonzales, March 3, 2007.
"Obviously I'm not going to say that I am perfect and that I've been perfect in doing my job."
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, November 30, 2006.
"President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance of the enemy on a far broader scale."
Alberto Gonzales, February 6, 2006.
"I told one person in the White House...I told the chief of staff."
Attorney General (and then White House counsel) Alberto Gonzales, describing his next steps after being notified by Patrick Fitzgerald about CIA leak investigation, July 24, 2005.
"I work for the White House, you work for the White House."
Alberto Gonzales, in a speech to U.S. attorney John McKay and all other 92 U.S. attorneys, early 2005.
"In my judgment, this new paradigm renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions..."
White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales, memo on Geneva Convention and Taliban/Al Qaeda prisoners, January 25, 2002.
For more on the Alberto Gonzales' legacy of criminal and ethical wrongdoing, see "Gonzo But Not Forgotten: The Crimes of Alberto Gonzales."