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Ann Romney's Cookbook to Hit the Shelves in October

June 1, 2013

Back in 2002, Ann Romney revealed, "I truly want Mitt to fulfill his destiny, and for that to happen, he's got to do politics." As it turned out, Mitt Romney's destiny was to be the husband of yet another political spouse turned cookbook author.
As Politico reported:

The wife of former presidential candidate Mitt Romney attended BookExpo America on Friday to promote her upcoming cookbook called "Romney Family Table."
In the book, published by Shadow Mountain, Romney "invites readers into her home and kitchen, combining some of her favorite foods with memories of raising a family," according to a description online. "...Ann shares some of the tips that have helped her along the way, as well as the stories behind many of her favorite recipes--including Mitt's Meatloaf Cakes, homemade ice cream, and Welsh Skillet Cookies."

Rumor has it that the $29.95 collection (The Romney Family Table: Sharing Home-Cooked Recipes & Favorite Traditions) will feature dozens of other main courses, deserts, treats and delicacies from the Romney menu. Arriving on October 1 by the Shadow Mountain imprint of the Mormon Church's Deseret Book publishing house, The Romney Family Table is said to include:
Mitt's Incredible Shrinking Apple Pie. The perfect desert for any meal, your guests get a smaller and smaller slice each time they come over.
47 Percent Fritters. Women, if you think you're going to give cold cereal to your breakfast visitors, "you need to wake up." These fabulous fritters will serve the 7 of your 15 guests who deserve them!
Papers Please Burritos. The ideal snack for your undocumented Guatemalan landscaping workers, these tasty wraps are a filling start to the process of self-deportation. You've got to get past some of your biases and try them!
Five Brothers' Chicken Out Chicken Wings. If you want to serve your country by getting your father elected President while serving your hungry guests, these scrumptious wings are just the thing. Make it your mission not get a deferment in making this recipe!
Who Let the Dogs Out? Having the leaders of the NAACP over for a picnic? These spicy frankfurters are exactly what you need for the "victims" bought off by "free stuff" and "gifts" from President Obama, especially if you "expected" to get boos.
Ann's Tea Party BLT. A simple meal for the simple minded: white bread with lots of mayonnaise and no Blacks, no Latinos and no Teen Voters.
Tagg's Terrific Turnovers. These puffy pastries are the perfect appetizer for the self-proclaimed, self-reliant chef just starting out. Each light and flaky treat is filled with $10 million our your parents' money, just what Dad says you need to "take a shot, go for it, take a risk" and "start a business."
Save Yourself for Sundae. Vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and white sprinkles? It's a delicious first-time treat for your new spouse. And don't feel guilty about calories: after all, you built that.
Cayman Islands Pulled Pork. Need a lunch break and tax break? Try these succulent swine sandwiches, made fresh daily offshore at our haven for pigs.
Carried Interest Carry Out. Don't feel like cooking tonight? Take over a failing fast food chain in a leveraged buyout. But don't lose your appetite when laid off workers lose their health insurance: they can always go to an emergency room. Their pain, your gain!


Jon Perr
Jon Perr is a technology marketing consultant and product strategist who writes about American politics and public policy.

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