On Monday, the Scribner division of publishing giant Simon & Schuster announced it had signed a book deal with First Lady Laura Bush. While her husband and his former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have each so far failed to secure publishers for their respective memoirs, Laura Bush's "intimate account" of her eight years in the White House is scheduled for release in 2010.
As it turns out, the First Lady's memoir is just the first of a torrent of books rumored to be forthcoming from Bush administration officials past and present. Here's a quick run down of the titles said to be in the works:
No One Suffers More by Laura Bush. Back in April 2007, the First Lady famously proclaimed of the war in Iraq, "No one suffers more than their President and I do." In her upcoming memoir, Laura will offer personal details of her own suffering as Mrs. Bush. Galleys of the book are said to include such provocative chapter titles as "I Don't Really Believe Those Polls", "The One Bombing a Day That Discourages Everybody" and "Jack Daniels or Me!"
No One Could Have Predicted by Condoleezza Rice. In her look back at her time as national security adviser and Secretary of State, Rice plays a reverse Nostradmus, detailing the myriad foreign policy and security disasters she failed to predict. Her fun-filled memoir includes her fond non-recollections of the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Brief ("I believe the title was 'Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.'"), the use of hijacked airliners on 9/11 ("I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center") and the 2006 election victory of Hamas ("I've asked why nobody saw it coming"). Rice's book is said to include a touching forward written by President Bush, featuring a warm remembrance of Hurricane Katrina ("I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees").
Heart and Soul by George W. Bush. In his own as-yet unsigned book project, President Bush reveals his hidden secrets for reading people and gut-instinct governance. Bush tells the inside story of how Jesus "changed my heart" and how he came to know to that Harriet Miers "absolutely" would have been an excellent Supreme Court justice because "I know her heart." The President also provides an endearing account of looking Russian President Vladimir Putin "in the eye" and being "able to get a sense of his soul." Told that Americans are anxious to learn more about how he came to view Bernard Kerik, Tom Delay, Rafael Palmeiro, Alphonso Jackson and others as "good men", Bush reportedly replied, "Bring 'em on."
I Don't Recall Remembering by Alberto Gonzales. During one Senate appearance in 2007, the former White House counsel and Attorney General responded "I don't recall" a purported 72 times. In his new book, the legal face of George W. Bush's illegal domestic surveillance, purge of U.S. prosecutors and regime of detainee torture promises to top that record by the end of the first chapter.
Stuff Happens: Management Strategies of Donald Rumsfeld. In his rumored how-to book for entrepreneurs, President Bush's one-time Secretary of Defense lays out his management strategies for winning in business in politics. His time-tested tips and helpful hints include standing for "8-10 hours a day," going to war with "the army you have" and surviving the actions of "a few bad apples."
Up with People by Dick Cheney. The New York publishing world is abuzz over Vice President Cheney's plans to pen a successor to Dale Carnegie's classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Bringing to bear his rich experience in politics and business, Cheney's guide is packed with real world examples of making friends and gaining converts by telling people to f**k themselves, shooting them in the face or just through the gentle, warm touch of the waterboard.
That's a Big No! by Ari Fleischer. In May 2001, the former press secretary brushed off suggestions ("that's a big no") that President Bush should call on the American people to conserve in order to secure their energy independence. Now in his new guidebook for "green" Republicans, Fleischer offers a bevy of helpful energy saving tips. From using biodiesel in your Mercedes to having the servants turn off the lights when you exit a room, it's all in there.