RNC Irony Watch
September 1, 2004
Perhaps the only joys in watching the Republican National Convention are the rich servings of irony. Served fresh in virtually GOP speech, these morsels of sweet revenge help slow my otherwise inexorably rising bile.
It is worth bearing in mind that the Republican platform calls for a ban on same-sex marriage and equates the rights of a fetus with those of its mother. The Texas GOP platform is particularly frightening, which "affirms that the United States of America is a Christian nation." This backdrop makes the following all the sweeter:
No, we're not talking about the Bush twins, but Virginia Congressman Ed Shrock, who is bowing out as well as bending over in November. Apparently, this co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment is a patron of gay sex phone lines.
It is understandable that Arnold Schwarzeneggar, whose abusive Austrian father was a Nazi, would say that "listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air."
In 2000, Dick Cheney said same-sex marriage was a matter for the states. In January 2004, he backed a constitutional ban on gay marriage. Now, he opposes an amendment again. Whether it's the guilt of a father or the quadrennial demands of an election, sounds like a confusion of...er um...you know.
Rudy Guiliani's fire and brimstone speech on Monday belied his softer, more moderate side. Well before joining John McCain in posturing for 2008, Guiliani had a slightly different take on family values than the current GOP platform. In 2001, he bunked with two gay friends following the end of his marriage to Donna Hanover.
We've covered elsewhere the whoredom of John McCain, doing a deal with the devil to aid his 2008 prospects. Will Republicans in 2008 remember that he stood firmly behind George Bush? Or will America remember that in the 1980's, he stood behind S&L villain Charles Keating?
Like Guiliani and McCain, Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is already running for president in 2008. He has flip-flop problems of his own; pro-life in Utah, he in essence ran in John Kerry's home state as a protector of choice. Will Utah's first governor of Massachusett's find his 2008 White House bid aborted as a result?
Sometimes, though, words just can't do irony (and hypocrisy) justice. Here are Rudy, Arnold and Jenna keeping it real: