Karl Marx famously said that historical events occur twice, first as tragedy and then as farce. And so it is with Carrie Prejean, the second coming of Sarah Palin. Like Palin, Prejean is a former beauty pageant contestant turned conservative darling. Each penned a tell-all book to bemoan her victimization by the supposed liberal media, all the while fundamentally misunderstanding the First Amendment. (As it turns out, the one difference may be that Sarah Palin only fingered her flute.)
Judging from their past statements, it would also appear that the two hardliner heartthrobs are reading from the same set of right-wing talking points. With Prejean now hawking her book Still Standing and Palin set to start pushing Going Rogue next week, can you tell them apart?
Take the Palin-Prejean challenge!
Sarah Palin or Carrie Prejean? Who said:
(The answer key follows below.)
1. "Fair or unfair, I think she does herself a disservice to even mention it...When I hear a statement like that coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism or, you know, maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think, man, that doesn't do us any good. Women in politics, women in general wanting to progress this country. I don't think it's, it bodes well for her -- a statement like that...It bothers me a little bit hearing her bring that attention to herself on that level."
2. "For some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make."
3. "And there is a double standard out there. There is an extreme double standard that conservative women are under attack for whatever it is."
4. "They have done nothing but attack me and try and silence me and keep me from spreading that message that free speech still exists, and that's the reason why I wrote this book."
5. "It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up', but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out."
6. "I think that there is a liberal bias in the media, and it's unfortunate that, you know, conservative women are attacked."
7. "I respect [her] for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation's First Amendment Rights."
8. "Thankfully we have the right to express our reaction. This is all thanks to our U.S. Military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America's Right to Free Speech - in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect."
9. "We share completely different views but we've always been raised to have tolerance and to show civility, and we can agree to disagree."
10. "So many Americans believe that their beliefs, you know, are under attack and they should be silent, and free speech doesn't exist. Since when does free speech not exist?"
11. "Together we do stand with gratitude for our troops who protect all of our cherished freedoms, including our freedom of speech which, par for the course, I'm going to exercise."
12. "You know, I just have to rely on my faith. I have to rely on my family, my millions of supporters out there who still support me and who know, you know, why this is really happening."
13. "I saw all my prep fly by me."
14. "This is all about 'gotcha' journalism."
15. "A task that is from God."
16. "I knew God had a plan for me."
17. "I think God's will has to be done...so pray for that."
18. "I know the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me."
19. "To me, it motivates us, makes us work that much harder. And it also strengthens my faith, because I'm going to know, at the end of the day, putting this in God's hands, that the right thing for America will be done."
20. "God chose me for that moment. He knew I was strong enough to get through all the junk that I have been through."
21. "THAT guy (Keith Olbermann) is EVIL!"
22. "There`s as an extreme double standard that conservative women are under attack for whatever it is. If Sean Hannity went out and said some of the things that Keith Olbermann has said about me -- if he said anything about Sonia Sotomayor or Michelle Obama, he would be off the air. Why is there this double standard?"
23. "Well, I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised, and that's how I think that it should be, between a man and a woman."
24. "We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby..."
25. "I had to ask myself, 'Was I going to walk the walk or was I just going to talk the talk?'" It is easy to think maybe of trying to change the circumstances...I want other women to have that opportunity."
Now, it's time to see who's been devoted, vigilant, merely curious or blissfully ignorant about the utterings the often-interchangeable Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin. Or as Palin herself might say, let's separate "the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs."

Answers
1. Palin (on Hillary Clinton)
2. Palin
3. Prejean
4. Prejean
5. Palin
6. Prejean
7. Palin
8. Palin
9. Prejean
10. Prejean
11. Palin
12. Prejean
13. Prejean
14. Palin
15. Palin (on the Iraq war)
16. Prejean
17. Palin (on the Alaska natural gas pipeline.)
18. Prejean
19. Palin
20. Prejean
21. Palin
22. Prejean
23. Prejean (on the "choice" of same-sex marriage she would deny others)
24. Palin (on the "choice" her daughter made, but she would deny others.)
25. Palin (on her "opportunity" to carry her son Trig to term, circumstances she would allow no other woman to change)
If you got less than five right, you haven't been paying attention. 5 to 15 correct answers means you've been "Palinized." More than that, you're either on guard against the creeping reactionary tide or, like Rich Lowry, sit up a little straighter and see starbursts when Sarah Palin is on your television.