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April Fool's Jokes We'd Like to See

April 1, 2010

After "Tea Party Thanks Obama for Tax Cuts," here are some of the other April Fool's jokes I'd like to see:
Republican donors stop paying to see women in leather bondage attire and instead watch for free as Sarah Palin wears her dominatrix jacket at campaign events.
Republicans also decide it's not only OK to watch women simulate lesbian sex, but to watch them simulate getting married, too.
GOP drops Confederate talking points of the Civil War era, including secession, states' rights, nullification and the war of Yankee aggression.
Rick Santorum blames his Catholic Church itself for its clergy sex abuse scandal, not Boston, "a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America."
Speaking of Rick Santorum, a bipartisan commission recommends Americans not be allowed to marry dogs, box turtles, horses, antelopes, wildebeests, capybaras, parakeets or any other mammal, fish, reptile, amphibian, bird, insect or single-cell creature.
Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue opposes impeachment of state Attorney General Thurbert Baker over refusal to support lawsuit to stop health care reform. Instead, Perdue prays not for rain, but for the health of Georgia residents.
Mitt Romney turns to flipping a coin to decide his latest position on health insurance mandate, abortion, immigration, Iran sanctions, Osama Bin Laden - and almost everything else.
Mark Sanford and John Ensign announce their resignations; take trip together to hike the Appalachian Trail.
Sarah Palin reads the First Amendment.
Tim Pawlenty officially changes his name to "T-Paw," announces presidential candidacy while wearing a Snuggie.
Pat Leahy tells Dick Cheney to "go f**k yourself."
George W. Bush follows Kathryn Jean Lopez's advice and becomes "an awesome high-school government teacher."
Karl Rove reprises Ned Beatty role in remake of Deliverance.
John Boehner, Jeff Sessions, Mike Huckabee and Duncan Hunter buy a time-share at "Club Gitmo."
Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Michael Steele, Michele Bachmann and Joe the Plumber admit they are not touched by the "hand of God." Carrie Prejean admits she is touched by her own.
Dick Cheney and former Iraqi Minister of Information Baghdad Bob launch 28-city "Weapons of Mass Destruction" comedy tour. "Bush's junkie nose", "their stomachs will roast in hell", "greeted as liberators" and "last throes" become national laugh lines.
Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck marry at a quiet ceremony in Waterloo, Iowa.


About

Jon Perr
Jon Perr is a technology marketing consultant and product strategist who writes about American politics and public policy.

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