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CBS Super Bowl Ads We'd Like to See

February 7, 2010

After refusing in the past to run "controversial" ads from groups such as the United Church of Christ, CBS is reversing course. During its extended Super Bowl coverage on Sunday, the network will air a not-so-subtle anti-abortion message sponsored by Focus on the Family featuring Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow. In it, the nation's most famous virgin (if less famed passer) will apparently lecture American women on reproductive rights while joining his mother in discussing his miraculous birth.
Now that the network of Cronkite and Murrow will broadcast what it deems "responsibly produced" ads, here are just some of the CBS Super Bowl ads we'd like to see.
Ad Title: "Rewrap the Gift"
Sponsor: The Candies Foundation
Starring: Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin

SARAH: Those East Coast elitists say the only second chance you get in life is the chance to make the same mistake twice. But not my daughter from Main Street, Wasilla.
BRISTOL: That's right mom. I'm not going to have sex until I'm married. I can guarantee it.
SARAH: So even if some Sourdough has already been in your Cheechako, you can still be as pure as the driven snow we're so blessed and privileged to have here in Alaska. It's never too late to rewrap the gift."

Ad Title: "So Touched"
Sponsor: National Organization for Marriage
Starring: Carrie Prejean

"I'm Carrie Prejean. As you and your family gather to watch the Super Bowl, remember that marriage is between a man and a woman. Not between a man and another man, or a dog, box-turtle, wildebeest, ocelot, duck-billed platypus, American eagle, harp seal or any other of God's creatures.
And to all those across America who've stood behind me, thank you. I've never been so touched."

Ad Title: "The Fetal Firearms Act"
Sponsors: Family Research Council and the National Rifle Association
Starring: Wayne LaPierre (CEO, NRA), Tony Perkins (President, FRC)

"Hi, I'm Wayne LaPierre."
"And I'm Tony Perkins. We can't always count on heroes like Eric Rudolph, James Kopp and Scott Roeder to protect the culture of life. That's why we need to let the unborn carry concealed weapons."
"So call your Congressman and tell him to support the Fetal Firearms Act. Because innocent life can't defend itself."

UPDATE: The first of the Tebow ads is out and does not mention abortion. But viewers are asked to go to the Focus on the Family web site. There, Tebow's father Bob essentially repeats the story he told Sports Illustrated last year:

"When I was out in the mountains in Mindanao, back in '86, I was showing a film and preaching that night. I was weeping over the millions of babies being [aborted] in America, and I prayed, 'God, if you give me a son, if you give me Timmy, I'll raise him to be a preacher."

4 comments on “CBS Super Bowl Ads We'd Like to See”

  1. Before the ads we get CBS screwing up the audio introductions for both the Saints and Colts. Player comments muted. Majorly.

  2. How about a public service announcement with Duncan Hunter warning us to check under our beds at night for the gathering storm of hermaphrodites?

  3. Everyone, everything, even every kind of products has its own unique aspection, having its leading side and does nike shoes.The design,the colorways,there were some great and classic colors,just like whole white/black/red,we just think it's simple,but it isn't "simple".
    Generally,we often take fully look at the upcoming shoes,however,some traditional, classic shoes must not be forgot,as nike blazer low,early series shoes of NBA players,just like leborn james,kobe bryant,allen iverson...If you are sneakerheads,you would have noticed that words--"fengshui",someones will put his faith on the shoes when gaming,the color,the tole,the areas of the sneakers will be the points of their sensation.


Jon Perr
Jon Perr is a technology marketing consultant and product strategist who writes about American politics and public policy.

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