God's Plan for Mark Sanford and Sarah Palin
Three weeks ago, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee declared California's passage of Proposition 8 "a miracle from God's hand." Now, new revelations from Sarah Palin and Mark Sanford, two of Huckabee's would-be (or would have been) rivals for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, show they, too, believe they are part of God's plan.
As the mushrooming scandal over his "soul mate" Argentine mistress and potentially other women increases pressure on him to resign as South Carolina's Governor, Sanford insisted God wants him to stay in office. Just three days after comparing himself to King David, Sanford in a message to supporters Monday announced he had the Almighty, if not his wife, by his side:
"Immediately after all this unfolded last week I had thought I would resign - as I believe in the military model of leadership and when trust of any form is broken one lays down the sword. A long list of close friends have [sic] suggested otherwise - that for God to really work in my life I shouldn't be getting off so lightly. While it would be personally easier to exit stage left, their point has been that my larger sin was the sin of pride...
Their belief was that if I walked in with a real spirit of humility then this last legislative term could well be our most productive one - and that outside this term, I would ultimately be a better person and of more service in whatever doors God opened next in life if I stuck around to learn lessons rather than running and hiding down at the farm."
As it turns out, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin doesn't just have the Lord in her corner, she's also His spokesman.
A jaw-dropping expose in Vanity Fair revealed the shocking extent of Palin's narcissism:
When [her son] Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives, describing the belated news of her pregnancy and detailing Trig's condition; she wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God's, and signed it "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father."
Of course, Sarah Palin apparently has long believed she was touched by the voice - and hand - of God. In May 2005 process complete with a laying on of hands, Kenyan pastor Thomas Muthee prayed over Palin, imploring Jesus to protect her from "the spirit of witchcraft." As Election Day approached last fall, the GOP vice presidential claimed to be unconcerned by her ticket's dismal poll numbers. Victory, she insisted, was in God's hands:
"To me, it motivates us, makes us work that much harder. And it also strengthens my faith, because I'm going to know, at the end of the day, putting this in God's hands, that the right thing for America will be done at the end of the day on Nov. 4. So I'm not discouraged at all."
Apparently, it was God's plan to put Barack Obama in the White House.
As for Mark Sanford, his dereliction of duty, rampant adultery, taxpayer-funded trysts and ever-shifting stories suggest Judgment Day at the hands of South Carolinians is not far off.
UPDATE 1: Governor Palin previously referred to the United States' war in Iraq as "a task that is from God" and declared her $30 billion Alaksa pipeline project "God's will."
UPDATE 2: Apparently, Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher also has a direct line to the Almighty as well. Asked about running for office, the 2008 Republican campaign prop replied, "You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, 'No.'"