Name That Bush Scandal Contest Results!
To commemorate the Second Inauguration of President George W. Bush, Perrspectives is pleased to announce the winners of the "Name That Bush Scandal" Contest which concluded at noon EST, January 20, 2005.
Perrspectives received entries from all over the United States (and the world, for that matter). We'd like to thank everyone who participated for their creativity, spirit, energy and, given the election results, understandable angst. But while America may be the place where , to quote President Bush, "wings take dream", unfortunately only a select few can be recognized as winners.
Perrspectives is pleased to announce the award winners, the newest members of George W. Bush's "Ownership Society":
The George W. Bush Award: Jeff (Minnesota)
Jeff wins an Apple Mini-iPod for providing the best overall list of names for all 10 scandals listed below. His entries included "Premature Emancipation" (Bush's USS Abraham Lincoln "Mission Accomplished" speech), "Whack-a-Mole" (Valerie Plame CIA outing), "Rice Cake" (bogus Niger uranium claims), "Medicon" (the assorted Medicare reform frauds) and "If the Superscripts Don't Fit, You Must Acquit" (Bush National Guard records).
An honorable mention and a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate goes to Walter in New York, for his suggestions of "Nuclear Fleece Movement" (Niger uranium), "Treasonable Doubts" (Plame/Wilson scandal), "Pimp my Pride" (Armstrong Williams pay-for-punditry) and "Jumping the Gun-Boat" (Mission Accomplished).
The Mission Accomplished Award: Steven
With "Iraq-style Dysfunction" (for the Iraq WMD fiasco), Steven provided the single best scandal name. (Viagra shills Bob and Elizabeth Dole would no concur.) Steven earns a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate for winning a contest that is, like the President's May 2003 speech on the USS Abraham Lincoln, meaningless yet tragic.
The Dick Cheney/Karl Rove Award: Joshua (Pennsylvania)
Joshua's name of "Chains of Command" for the Abu Ghraib torture scandal earns him a $25 gift certificate for the most heartless, vicious or otherwise mean-spirited entry. Be sure to visit Josh's blog.
The Michael Powell Award: Jeff (Minnesota)
This $25 Amazon gift certificate honors the soon-to-be former FCC Chairman Michael Powell, and is presented to the author of the most tasteless scandal moniker which can be announced over the public airwaves without incurring a fine from the FCC. The winner again is Jeff, with his Mission Accomplished speech title, "Premature Emancipation."
The Bernard Kerik Award: Steve (Oregon)
Another $25 gift certificate goes to Steve for the biggest joke and perhaps most apt suggestion of all, "George of the Bungle."
The National Guard Records Award: Patricia (Maryland)
Patricia snared a $25 gift certificate for pointing out and naming a Bush scandal missing from the Top 10 List below. Her addition was "Kerikature", for Bush's hilariously surreal Bernard Kerik Homeland Security nomination (and subsequent implosion).
The Perrspectives "Name That Bush Scandal" contest generated hundreds of creative, fun and often shockingly tasteless submissions. Decorum and space prevent listing them all, but here is a nice cross-section:
|SCANDAL||NAMES SUBMITTED||AWARD WINNER?|
- Weapon of Mental Deficiency
- Wild Nukes Chase
- Iraq-style Dysfunction
- Warhawks of Mass Deception
- Forecast: Mushroom Cloudy
(Mission Accomplished Award)
- Strongarm Willings
- Pay for Plaudits
- Some Like It Bought
- No Bribe Left Behind
- Pimp My Pride
- House of Blues
- House of Bruise
- Chains of Command
- Dog Day Afternoon
- Gonzo Gate
Chains of Command
|4.||Medicare Reform Budget, Fraud(s)||
- Hypocrytic Oath
- Got Lay'd
- Party Favors
- Guys and Falls
- The 404K
- The Invisible Handjob
|6.||Cheney Secret Energy Task Force and Plan||
- Power Barred
- Tuesdays with Enron
- Oil Slick
|7.||Mission Accomplished Speech (USS Abraham Lincoln)||
- Premature Emancipation
- Premature Jock Elation
- Project Cod Peace (Piece)
- George of the Bungle
- Jumping the Gun-Boat
(Michael Powell Award)
George of the Bungle
(Bernard Kerik Award)
|8.||Valerie Plame CIA Outing||
- Treasonable Doubt
- Nobody to Plame
|9.||Bogus Iraq-Niger Yellowcake Uranium Claims||
- Cake Walk
- Rice Cake
- Bay of Fibs
- Let Them Eat Yellowcake
- Nuclear Fleece Movement
|10.||Bush National Guard Records, Non-service||
- MIA (Missing in Alabama)
- Invisible (Air) Man
- Air Fortunate One
- Pretense of Defense
- Dubious Discharge
- Painful Discharge
- If The Superscript Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit