Perrspectives - Bringing light to Darkness

Name That Bush Scandal Contest Results!

January 22, 2005

To commemorate the Second Inauguration of President George W. Bush, Perrspectives is pleased to announce the winners of the "Name That Bush Scandal" Contest which concluded at noon EST, January 20, 2005.

Perrspectives received entries from all over the United States (and the world, for that matter). We'd like to thank everyone who participated for their creativity, spirit, energy and, given the election results, understandable angst. But while America may be the place where , to quote President Bush, "wings take dream", unfortunately only a select few can be recognized as winners.

The Award Winners

Perrspectives is pleased to announce the award winners, the newest members of George W. Bush's "Ownership Society":

The George W. Bush Award:  Jeff (Minnesota)

Jeff wins an Apple Mini-iPod for providing the best overall list of names for all 10 scandals listed below.  His entries included "Premature Emancipation" (Bush's USS Abraham Lincoln "Mission Accomplished" speech), "Whack-a-Mole" (Valerie Plame CIA outing), "Rice Cake" (bogus Niger uranium claims), "Medicon" (the assorted Medicare reform frauds) and "If the Superscripts Don't Fit, You Must Acquit" (Bush National Guard records).

An honorable mention and a $25 gift certificate goes to Walter in New York, for his suggestions of "Nuclear Fleece Movement" (Niger uranium), "Treasonable Doubts" (Plame/Wilson scandal), "Pimp my Pride" (Armstrong Williams pay-for-punditry) and "Jumping the Gun-Boat" (Mission Accomplished).

The Mission Accomplished Award:  Steven

With "Iraq-style Dysfunction" (for the Iraq WMD fiasco), Steven provided the single best scandal name. (Viagra shills Bob and Elizabeth Dole would no concur.) Steven earns a $50 gift certificate for winning a contest that is, like the President's May 2003 speech on the USS Abraham Lincoln, meaningless yet tragic.

The Dick Cheney/Karl Rove Award:  Joshua (Pennsylvania)

Joshua's name of "Chains of Command" for the Abu Ghraib torture scandal earns him a $25 gift certificate for the most heartless, vicious or otherwise mean-spirited entry.  Be sure to visit Josh's blog.

The Michael Powell Award:  Jeff (Minnesota)

This $25 Amazon gift certificate honors the soon-to-be former FCC Chairman Michael Powell, and is presented to the author of the most tasteless scandal moniker which can be announced over the public airwaves without incurring a fine from the FCC.  The winner again is Jeff, with his Mission Accomplished speech title, "Premature Emancipation."

The Bernard Kerik Award:  Steve (Oregon)

Another $25 gift certificate goes to Steve for the biggest joke and perhaps most apt suggestion of all, "George of the Bungle."

The National Guard Records Award:  Patricia (Maryland)

Patricia snared a $25 gift certificate for pointing out and naming a Bush scandal missing from the Top 10 List below.  Her addition was "Kerikature", for Bush's  hilariously surreal Bernard Kerik Homeland Security nomination (and subsequent implosion).

Selected "Name That Bush Scandal" Submissions

The Perrspectives "Name That Bush Scandal" contest generated hundreds of creative, fun and often shockingly tasteless submissions.  Decorum and space prevent listing them all, but here is a nice cross-section:

Selected Bush Scandal Names

1. Iraq WMD

- Weapon of Mental Deficiency

- Wild Nukes Chase

- Nucularity

- Iraq-style Dysfunction

- Warhawks of Mass Deception

- Forecast: Mushroom Cloudy

Iraq-style Dysfunction

(Mission Accomplished Award)

2. Armstrong Williams

- Strongarm Willings

- Funditry

- Ketchumatit

- Pay for Plaudits

- Some Like It Bought

- No Bribe Left Behind

- Hackdraft

- Propagate

- Pimp My Pride

3. Abu Ghraib

- House of Blues

- House of Bruise

- Chains of Command

- Dog Day Afternoon

- Gonzo Gate

Chains of Command

(Cheney/Rove Award)

4. Medicare Reform Budget, Fraud(s)

- Hypocrytic Oath

- Decepticon

- Medicon

- Elderscrew

- MediBeware

- Medicarelessness

- Medigall

- MediScam

5. Enron

- Laybarinth

- Got Lay'd

- Party Favors

- Guys and Falls

- The 404K

- Deregugate

- The Invisible Handjob

6. Cheney Secret Energy Task Force and Plan

- Power Barred

- Petro-File

- Tuesdays with Enron

- Oil Slick

7. Mission Accomplished Speech (USS Abraham Lincoln)

- Misaccomplishmentality

- Premature Emancipation

- Premature Jock Elation

- Project Cod Peace (Piece)

- George of the Bungle

- Jumping the Gun-Boat

Premature Emancipation

(Michael Powell Award)

George of the Bungle

(Bernard Kerik Award)

8. Valerie Plame CIA Outing

- Treasonable Doubt

- Whack-a-Mole

- Intimigate

- Nobody to Plame

- Plamethrower

9. Bogus Iraq-Niger Yellowcake Uranium Claims

- Cake Walk

- Rice Cake

- Bay of Fibs

- Let Them Eat Yellowcake

- Nuclear Fleece Movement

- Half-Baked

10. Bush National Guard Records, Non-service

- MIA (Missing in Alabama)

- Invisible (Air) Man

- Air Fortunate One

- Pretense of Defense

- Dubious Discharge

- Painful Discharge

- If The Superscript Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit


Jon Perr
Jon Perr is a technology marketing consultant and product strategist who writes about American politics and public policy.

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