Some breaking stories are destined to become instant battlegrounds in the Culture War. Even as you learn of the events, you can immediately envision the "values" vultures of Fox News on the right or the minions of multiculturalism on the left mobilizing to denounce the latest outrage. To be sure, this week has produced a bumper crop all across the nation.
In Texas, Governor Rick Perry issued an executive order mandating that sixth grade girls be vaccinated against the human papilloma virus thought to cause a majority of cervical cancer cases. Good government advocates question both the need and cost of the mandate, as well as Perry's ties to Merck lobbyist Mike Toomey, his one-time chief of staff. Perry, who once told non-Christians "you're going straight to hell with a nonstop ticket", faces a firestorm from his own conservative Christian allies, who allege that the inoculation program will encourage teenage sexual promiscuity.
On the subject of teenage sexual promiscuity, a new study by researchers at the University of California at San Francisco found that sexual activity of any kind harmed teens emotionally. The research, published in the February issue of Pediatrics, found that half of respondents felt guilty or regretful after having intercourse, compared to a third of those engaging in oral. No doubt, the abstinence warriors, father-daughter purity pledgers and other radical right mouthpieces will be all over Fox News and conservative blogosphere.
Speaking of evangelical mouthpieces, Ted Haggard is back in the news. The former New Life Church pastor and ex-president of the National Association of Evangelicals turned meth-loving patron of male prostitutes claims to be "cured" of homosexuality. Hoping to be yet another poster child for the nonsensical ex-gay movement, Haggard declared himself "completely heterosexual" as he embarks upon his new chosen field of psychology.
The clash over the perpetuation of gay stereotypes also extended to the Super Bowl this week. An ad for Snickers depicted two burly mechanics horrified as their attempt to consume the same candy bar from opposite ends led to an inadvertent kiss. M&M Mars further invited a hellstorm of controversy for the ad's companion web site showing the disgusted reactions of Colts and Bears team members to the chocolate-covered peanut and nougat kiss. Ultimately, the Smickers' folks pulled the web site and the ad.
And in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the left-right culture war clash is joined over the denial of tenure to - and subsequent hunger strike by - MIT stem cell scientist James Sherley. Supported by iconic far left hero Noam Chomsky, the African-American Sherley proclaimed "I'm not actually doing this to get tenured. I'm doing this for the reason that I wasn't tenured -- which is racism." Meanwhile, anti-abortion advocates and "snowflake" salesmen like President Bush will no doubt attribute Sherley's downfall to MIT's prejudice against the professor's criticism of embyronic stem cell research as taking human life.
Yes, it should be a great week for manufactured outrage from both sides of the culture war. And this is just Tuesday...