"$9.11 for Rudy" and Other Giuliani Fundraising Events
As the AP reported this morning, Rudy Giuliani, the self-proclaimed mayor of 9/11 is now to be the beneficiary of a $9.11 fundraiser. Hoping to make his friend literally the leader of the Party of 9/11, Giuliani moneyman Abraham Sofaer is hosting an event in his Palo Alto, California home where guests will be asked to pony up the symbolic $9.11 contribution.
Giuliani spokesperson Maria Comella disowned the unfortunately titled "$9.11 for Rudy," pinning responsibility on "two volunteers who acted independently of and without the knowledge of the campaign." Despite that setback, Giuliani's campaign has plenty of less controversial themes to choose to from for future fundraisers.
"Take the Plunge with Rudy." Support Rudy and show your tough stance on immigration. Donors at the $500 level get an autographed replica of the toilet plunger used by Giuliani's NYPD to violate Abner Louima.
"Dress for Success with Rudy." As it turns out, you can put lipstick on a pig and run for President. For $500, you can cross party lines (so to speak) at this elegant costume soiree. Givers at the $1,000 level and above get their picture taken in a chorus line with Rudy, who will be dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire.
"Three Strikes and You're Out." Honor Rudy's tough stance on crime and commitment to serial marriages. Write three checks for $2,300, and Rudy will autograph the first two that get cancelled.
"Rudy Family Values." Join us for a fun-filled family picnic for Rudy. Don't worry about bringing the kids: at the $1000 level, our staffers will take care of your children so you can ignore them, too.
"Pin the Tail on the Radical Islamic Terrorist." Combining Republican hatred of Democrats with Rudy's terror fighting pose, contributors at the $1,000 level get to pin a symbolic tail on a donkey cutout with Osama Bin Laden's head.
"It's Giuliani Time." America needs Rudy in 2008. Show your commitment to change by coming to this rollicking beer-bash. At midnight, donors of $1,000 or more get to join Team Giuliani in beating up the local homeless.
"Friends of Rudy." Max out at the $2,300 level and you can enjoy an intimate day with the Friends of Rudy. Listen to Bernie Kerik's riveting lecture, "The Sopranos: Myth and Reality" before joining Monsignor Alan Placa for a meeting with the St. Ignatius boys' chorus.
"Blast from the Past." Show your support for Rudy and the NRA at this exclusive gathering. For $500 and up, you can pack heat and unload 50 rounds at an amazingly accurate effigy of Amadou Diallo.
Rudy is disgusting, but your list of suggestions is a f**king riot!
I keep expecting Giuliani to go on a 9/11 tour:
"Come See Live! The Recreation of 9/11 by America's Mayor Giuliani! (with full live orchestra playing renditions of Wagner)
A full stadium in the dark with the sounds of jet planes in the distance as they rumble close a shot of the twin towers goes up on the giant screen behind Giuliani who is all in back with his back turned to the audience.
As the planes impact 9/11 Giuliani starts gyrating and choreographing the tragedy.
As the lights slowly go up scences o the tragedy flash across the screen while Giuliani starts bragging about how he was first on the scene, how America's Mayor saved the day. Be breathed more ground zero air than anyone. He save the most people. He prevented the most terror attacks..
oh wait, he has never prevented a terror attack. In fact one happene don his watch.
And we expect he'll be able to protect us next time?
Senator Cankles represented NY at the time of the attack so it occurred on her watch too, except she couldn't have found NY with a road map and 3 days rations in 2001. Her fundraising has since made her familiar with NY.
As someone who personally lived thru that time in NY I can say I was grateful for Rudy's leadership, while our junior senator went into the witness protection program.
I don't know who I'll vote for in '08 unless Hilary is nominated.